tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19705400.post6497500272169093872..comments2023-08-07T08:19:03.097-05:00Comments on ADOPTION AND ITS FOOTSTOOL: LACK OF REUNIONAmyadopteehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10954658047614318238noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19705400.post-55431744133311601752006-11-25T11:10:00.000-06:002006-11-25T11:10:00.000-06:00wow. rough. i found myself defensive of both of yo...wow. rough. i found myself defensive of both of you. she sounds massively seriously confused and conflicted and ashamed and embarassed and worried and on and on. yet, i got angry for you and even embarassed to be a first mom...how could any mother deny her child? clearly, given my own situation, i just dont understand.<br /><br />personally, it was so odd for me to read as that is so not me, if anything its my daughter. that denial of contact goes both ways.<br /><br />hugs.suzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00192108446381808647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19705400.post-67869122930783156702006-11-22T12:37:00.000-06:002006-11-22T12:37:00.000-06:00This is not what you want to hear. I have friends ...This is not what you want to hear. I have friends who are birthmothers, adoptive parents, and adoptees. For some, I'm the only one who knows about it in our circle. Every situation is different. There are valid reasons for both open and closed adoptions - most from the birthmother's perspective. <br /><br />I've worked in mental health and some of the things that happen make it very difficult - even traumatic - for it to be brought up again. From reading between the lines, those circumstances are there.<br /><br />I do agree that adoption, as it stands now, cannot be left as is. At the minimum, all children should have access to a dossier of cultural, genetic, and health information about their birth heritage.<br /><br />I also have friends in social work and they see kids who if they had had parental rights severed earlier they would be in much better shape. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking that the state takes kids away on minimal proof. It is more likely that the state will leave children in very abusive situations rather than get them into a caring foster, or, preferably, adoptive situation.<br /><br />There are also very open adoptions where a parent, aunt, uncle, etc. adopted a younger relative's child as their own. (This was much more common than widely known.) In many cases the child was never told - now, that was wrong, but if you find out your sister is really your mother? <br /><br />I really cannot believe there is a one size fits all for adoption any more than there is a one size fits all for anything else.<br /><br />Pax,<br /><br />MLOAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19705400.post-13959744253484260172006-11-17T18:49:00.000-06:002006-11-17T18:49:00.000-06:00Reading this makes me feel physically ill. I am se...Reading this makes me feel physically ill. I am serious Amy I could puke right now. It is almost a blow by blow of my own mother's response to being found. It hurts like hell to read. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I know how bad it hurts.<br /><br />I get why you didn't want to share this with your mom. My mom at 83 would have tracked my first mother like a hound dog and given her a smackdown if she read something like this. I too was careful what I shared now that I think about it. I still am.Miahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04766362144121275279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19705400.post-88168983501123563902006-11-16T23:53:00.000-06:002006-11-16T23:53:00.000-06:00Those comments your mother made are very painful t...Those comments your mother made are very painful to read. I'm sorry, and I'm sending you big hugs.elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09384756673501569994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19705400.post-3811157356730689092006-11-16T18:12:00.000-06:002006-11-16T18:12:00.000-06:00I couldn't agree with you more. Her decision affe...I couldn't agree with you more. Her decision affects five people in this mess. Indiana law unfortuntely supports her choiceAmyadopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10954658047614318238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19705400.post-77373452897823777372006-11-16T17:53:00.000-06:002006-11-16T17:53:00.000-06:00but don't HER kids deserve to know they have a sis...but don't HER kids deserve to know they have a sister? Aren't they your blood too? That's pretty selfish of her really. I know it's all about her pain and fear right now but still.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com