If you havent already been there, you really need to visit my buddy over at the The Daily Bastardette. Http://www.bastardette.blogspot.com/ Gotta love her spirit.
You see I will be ignored because my birthmother has refused contact. These anti adoption people just like to placate me. I am just the adopted child. As I read these arguments over birthmother, I have to laugh at the absurdity of all of it. Another friend of mine also makes a very valid point on her blog that is also a must see. Http://www.adoptalk.blogspot.com/ It is the adoption industry that has made the adoption terms nasty. Its not Concerned United Birthparent. Its not AAC, BN, or any other group. Its those that run the adoption industry. The agencies, the National Council for Adoption, the social workers and its volunteers are who we need to angry at. Its not adoptive families. Who you call Adopters. That right there I find highly offensive and assaultive. I had good adoptive parents. They support my search. I can't take pock shots at them for wanting a child. I was lucky because my birther wanted to so desparately be rid of me. She wants her secrets to stay hidden very hidden. Even the anti adoption crew out there can't begin to understand why she chose what she did. If this was about the adopters, don't you think they would have the cost of adopting a child a little cheaper. Most adoptive parents that I have run into want their children to know their birthfamily. Most are like my parents. I see the adoption industry has being corrupt and money hungry. At both of these blogs, everyone is attacking everyone. Hey yo don't you think we ought to use that heated energy and take aim at the adoption industry? We would really change laws with that kind of energy. If we used that kind of energy to educate the non adopted oriented people of America, we would definitely see changes. No just like a bunch of harpies we are turning on each other. Striving to get absolutely nowhere. I for one am tired of it. There are those that want to censor others. If you know what terms people have incorporated into their work, and you don't like those terms don't invite someone to your shindig and expect them to bow to you. It ain't gonna happen. We all need to come up with a plan to change and reform adoption. One other person that has done that besides the two already mentioned and the several listed as links on the side, is Faux Claud. I don't always like her stuff because it is very harsh. I am just the bastard caught in the middle. She has listed some very good proposals on changing adoption. Her addy is Http://www.musingsofthelame.blogspot.com/ . She also has another blog where she is trying to change the laws in New York.
As far as the presenters of the conference in question in the first two blogs, one of them very honestly I don't like. When I was first looking for a place to call home in the adoption world. His chatroom was one that I visited. I didn't like the way birthparents and adoptive parents were addressed and treated. The room was filled with foul language and severe anger. I told him that I was not happy with this and that I was leaving. I don't go to his site and attack his people or his friends over at anti adoption. I avoid them. I do go and read their stuff just to keep myself informed but I don't comment. Not my place to tread on their beliefs. Since I was just beginning my search actively, I don't feel that anger would really help me in the beginning. Now that my search has hit a proverbial stalmate, I am now going through the steps of loss. I was in denial about her refusal. I just couldn't believe it and it hurt when I actually thought about it. Now I am angry about it. I hate that the laws that protect the socalled "privacy" of a birthmother. What is hysterical and very ironic is the law protects the one percent instead of the 99 percent. Knowing what I know about my birthmother she would really appreciate it if you kept on fighting. She thinks its great that you all are not getting anywhere with this infighting. It takes the heat of revealing her secret child (now an adult) to her family. She gets to continue to punish my birthfather for wanting me at any costs. He will die before I ever get to know him. Go ahead keep on fighting amongst yourselves. Me I am going after the laws that allow this kind of betrayal against families.