I enjoy blog hopping. I do it whenever I get the chance. I also got an email from a birthfather who is trying to help me get closer to mine. He understands the feelings I have for my birthmother. I see a great deal of argument over the the birthmother thing. If I even comment on it, I am just placated because I am an adoptee. They feel sorry for me because my birthmother refused. I just laugh at this argument. My birthmother would rather the exiled mothers, CUB, Anti-adoption, and others would cease and desist. I mean it when I say that she would rather see me dead than see me at all. I believe in it because of what she has said in her transcripts. When I visit other blogs, I am respectful of others. My birthmother just doesn't give a shit about me or my rights. Like I said, she honestly wishes that you guys would just shut up. I do understand wanting the adoption industry to apologize to you. It has treated birth parents horribly. In fact, it still does. It doesn't recognize 99% of the birthmothers that want contact, that they don't want privacy from their own children. It recognizes the 1% like my own birthmother. I see the rights of parents especially poor parents being violated regularly. I see the needs of the child being trampled for the sake of money. A good example of that is this particular link: Http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/8-29-2006-106943.asp. A child in foster care is locked in a closet so the foster parents could go out of town. When they get back, he has died. The foster father takes him to an abandoned two story chimney and burns his body. He scatters the remains in the Ohio river. Yet we are here arguing over which word is best for whom. Does it matter really? I wish that everyone would redirect their energies to changing the laws concerning adoption. A blogging friend of mine asked me if I was alright. She had this argument going on her blog. This argument was also hot on the CUB email list. I finally quit the list. I got tired of it. This is an argument that comes up every few months. I wish that the hostilities would be aimed at the adoption industry.
I have finally come to the conclusion that I don't want to be a part of this argument. The only thing that I am concerned with is that the practices of the past don't continue to recur. I also want adoption records and birth certificates be opened to all adult adoptees. I don't want to be placated by anyone. I just want to be heard.
1 comment:
Thanks for the welcome to the world of blogging! I haven't quite got the protocol down yet so I am responding to you comments here.
I had a similar situation where my Birthmom was terrified and/or unable to meet me. I think she was afraid I was angry or crazy.
Because there is such a push for medical information, My post adoption counselor sent birthmom a letter telling her we were going around her to petition the courts to contact birth relatives on deceased birthfather's side for medical information. First, the court approved the contact very quickly and second it helped birthmom come around. She wanted to be sure her side of the story was out there.
It is unfortunate that adoptees need to use the medical card but it sure seems to work!
I would also suggest a intermediary who is from a social service agency . Very reasonable(if they charge at all!) and they know their way around the courts and reunion process. It wouldn't have happened for me without them.
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