YEP I DELETED IT.

Sorry gang today is one of those days where I really feel like quitting. Believe me I had hell getting to my blog tonite. I can be hell bent and determine. I came so close to deleting this blog in its entirety. I wonder if you realize that if we don't get it together, we will never get these bills passed. Do you realize that they don't take us seriously? Yes I am one of those that is grateful that all Moms are finally standing up. I am grateful that us bastards are finally standing up.

Sometimes I wish some of the Moms that post here in reply to my blog would realize something. I have reason to hate my first mother. It is because of you guys that I stop and think about those feelings. That I do consider where she might have been. It is out of respect that I fight for your rights. It is out of the need for knowledge that I ask for your experiences.

So many times you blame the adopters. Number one I hate that term as much as I am beginning to hate the birth mother term. If I do use birth mother, I try to keep it respectful. Keep in mind I don't always feel that way. I have a few choice words for her. If I ever get the opportunity to actually speak with her, it will only be a fifteen minute call. I will ask only for my father's name. I will also ask that my brothers get told of my existance. That will be it. This woman is not you. She has totally rejected me. I am not worth her time. She does not wish the knowledge of me. To me she gave up her rights. She should not have more than me. I could only pray that she would be like you. For that, I love and respect every single one of you. I respect the women who stand up and want to acknowledge their children. Moms, the adoptive parents aren't your enemy. They love your kids as you do. At least I hope that they would. I do realize that some don't

As far as adoptive parents go, I have had and will continue to have a good set. It ain't been perfect but it is good. I don't even want to think about what might have been. I sure as hell would not be here. I would be probably some little meally mouse thing. If it weren't for my adoptive parents, I sure as hell would not have had this fire and fight. My adoptive parents put it there for me. If it weren't for hanging out with my sisters, I would not have learned about words and the use of them. I am full of fire and brimstone and it is because of them. Adoptive parents do need to learn that first parents are not the enemy. They love your kids as you do.
Sadly, I do know that some first parents don't. I know because I have one of those.

Whether or not you all realize it we need to be a team. We need to be a united front. It is the adoption agency and its industry that hates us, all of us - the first parents, the adoptive parents, and most definitely the adoptees.

When you argue against the adopters, you are arguing against us. When you argue against the birth parents, you argue against us. Adoptees are being stretched and pulled in two opposing directions. You are taking our control over our own lives away from us all over again. We just want to love both sides of you. We are not someone's gift from God. We are not someone's bundle of joy ripped from your arms. We are your children and we just want your love and respect.