Thursday, July 12, 2007


I read a blogger a while back in the Allison Quets' case. I have to wonder this myself. Where are the women's groups? I know that her issue is sticky because of the sperm/egg donation thing. She was still treated horribly by the agency and the attorneys. If not her case, what about the Bennett's?

I have read the arguments that NOW is presenting and looking at. They want society to acknowledge a woman's right to autonomy. They want women to have the right to consent to sex and the right to consent pregnancy. What about the right to consent to motherhood without the fear of losing her child? Isn't that a consideration? Why is there a redistribution of babies of poor women to rich women? Why is it that our society condemns the poor woman to losing her baby because she can't give her child all the advantages that a wealthy woman can? Who really decides what is best for us?

Mirah, in her blog Family Preservation, addressed this issue with Rickie Solinger in an interview that was done last year. I think part of it is that the misconceptions being put out there by the industry itself. No one wants to appear anti-adoption. That is like a cuss word in our realm. As time moves forward, I find that the words of that crowd more and more true. We must change adoption as it is completely unregulated. They feed the myths of adoption to society. Its not us in the adoption underground. Many fear being called anti-adoption. I personally do not care any longer. As an adoptee, I am wrong no matter which direction I turn. I do know that anyone who goes against the adoption industry faces this issue. Of course, the industry tells us that adoption is a win/win/win. With many adoptees, natural parents, and adoptive parents speaking out, how is it that? We all lose in this. The only one who truly wins is the adoption agency that is counting the bills in the proverbial back room. Sadly the industry doesn't listen to the adoptees nor the natural parents. This is where adoptive parents are culpable. They have the opportunity to change the industry. They can step up and say no we want to control this. Sadly in a rush to get that precious child they so covet, they forget that their child will want their information and that a natural mother is in pain.


Erin said...

beyond the adoption stuff where are womens groups speaking out on the horrors of life in Saudi Arabia for women, the nine and ten year old brides. Where are they on polygamy in mormon cults in the west and their child brides. Why are they only concentrated on getting people elected to office, and not making an actual change.

I consider myself a feminist in some ways. I'm a stay at home mom, and that is all I ever wanted to be, but I'm thankful and want to PRESERVE and offer that opportunity to women, yet it seems these womens groups are only concerned with a national political agenda, not with actual women.

Yeah, they should be speaking up, but instead they have just turned more lame political pundents. Electing democrats to office isn't going to push forward womens rights in Darfur or Florida any more than electing Republicans is. Because I think most of us can agree that politics isn't where the answer lies. The people in power aren't about helping little people, they are about getting elected again. And these womens rights groups are only interested in elections, not about real people anymore.

its sad really.

Coleman Moms and Babes said...

You are most definitely correct. Its really frustrating. That is why I am not looking at the typical candidates this year. I want someone different. Someone who honestly cares about the people after all we put them there.

Gershom said...

I agree.

and when will women stop turning against eachother? And begin helping one another out instead? Really making a difference by being there for eachother? Who cares if countries separate us, why can't we end problems other people face around the world? I think we can, women everywhere need to be heard and respected. Yeah Woman!!

Aurelia said...

Most of the feminists I know realize that giving up a child for adoption would happen a lot less if women had better child care and housing and health care, heck even better access to birth control and abortion.

But they tend to ignore the issue when it comes to adoptees wanting to know their origins. After they learn about it, they change, but it's a process.

A lot of feminists still think fertility treatment isn't important, even though it's all about women's health. Meanwhile, better fertility treatment coverage and research, would end a lot of the desire & need for infertile couples to adopt.