Monday, July 09, 2007
Its been a year and half since I attempted to have you contacted. I wonder now if you were even contacted. I even wonder if my birthday is the correct one. I have spoken with two other women. One of which was there at the same time. She had a son the day before I was born. She saw no one else there. So many questions, so few answers. I hope you don't get upset but I refuse to celebrate my birthday any longer until I have the truth. Its even hard for me to celebrate Mother's day. When neither you nor my adoptive mom will celebrate your part in me, how can I truly recognize my own motherhood? I guess in time I will. I am just not ready for it yet. Sadly my adoptive mom can't remember the day that she picked me up. So we are fussing over which day to pick. I honestly feel that any calling should have come from me or you. It should not have had a CI in the middle of it. So many unknowns with agendas of their own. I want you to know that I fight for you and me. I fight for a safer environment for the both of us. It irritates me no end that our society will not even today allow young women the choice of raising their own children. I don't want my daughters to ever go through what you went through. So I do this for my daughters, their children, and everyone else's children. I spoke with a woman who was there a year and half after you. I know how you were treated. It just about killed me to know that. I had heard it from others but I was always told that Coleman was above the rest. I guess they weren't. I wonder if they weren't worse. Sadly I was read the counseling sessions with your father. I don't know if this is true. I had a friend, Addie, who helped me. She feels most of the information is a lie. I know you read my other blog. I can feel it when you are there sometimes. I know that this is a hard month for you too. When you decide to come bursting out of that closet, know that I have a support group in place for you. Women who are just like you are all willing to be there for you. They are all over this country. They will help you through this just as I will. Know that I do love you. Know that there is really nothing to forgive. You were young and in love. I know and understand that. We will take this one step at a time. Just you and me. We CAN do this. Just check the links. They will get you to me. If you can avoid using the agency, please do so. They might charge you money as they did me.