Okay this post is going to be a little different. This isn't about politics or traditional adoption. It will reflect my memories, my thoughts and my emotions. This post is about six women. These women came together at various points in their lives. Its a reunion of sorts. All of us brought together by one man, Frank. Even the youngest of the women are affected by this man because of her relationship to three of the other women. It does have adoption in it. Five of these women were hurt by this one man's actions.
He was once a husband to two of these women and a father to four of the others. Wednesday night ended with someone hitting a registry. I was able to track the ip address to one woman. I had spoken with two dear friends of mine. We all got goosebumps over it. I spoke with a sister about it. We tracked it down even further to the identity of one of the women involved. I emailed this woman. We later spoke that day. Yesterday was a day of love lost and gained. Yesterday was a day of laughs and tears.
This is my point of view of two mothers and four daughters whose lives will forever be intertwined. Frank is the father that created the mess. Amazingly we all have been friends through out our lives. Our mothers have kept contact with each other. In a very weird way through adoption, the four daughters are sisters. Two of the sisters shared the same name for many years. These two sisters followed the same path. Both are child advocates. Both are equine lovers. One uses them as a form of therapy in her dealings with foster children. The other uses them to give therapy to herself. One of the mothers mentioned that horses have a special spiritual power. As I am seeking my truth, another sister has found hers. Even another is still seeking the truth. The other hides in fear of it. The truth of this situation is something that I will and the others will probably never really know. The youngest does her best to help all of us heal.
The father, Frank, is a child of a man who abandoned his children. Frank in turn abandoned his own children. Somehow with God's love intervening, it stopped with us girls. I think it was the mothers that saw to it. Frank is now very ill. He is dying. We all wonder if he has had the courage to face his part in this. Somehow I think not. Others have more hope for him. Frank is more worried I think about his intellectual legacy than his paternal legacy. Will he realize his loss with all of us girls? I hope so. I however am not holding my breath.
I have often wondered his affect on me. For years he left me angry and hurt. I will always feel that he replaced me as a daughter. He alone is responsible. I just wish at times that he would own up. Funny how adoption lets folks get away with dodging the truth. Now that I am a parent I have realized that I owe my children truth. We all feel this way. Of course we have all learned this in a harsh cruel way. This little reunion brought a little healing my way. I hope it brings healing to all of us. I hope to hear from the other Amy. We are after all sisters if only in name. I would like to see our names attached in openness and healing.