I was not one of the lucky ones who met this woman. I did not speak with her online. I did not speak with her in real life. I had not even begun to seriously search. I wish I had though.
According to the website commemorating her, Cindy placed her daughter in a semi open adoption arrangement. She would receive pictures and letters every six months. She would email the adoptive parents to get additional news of her daughter. The adoptive mother wrote the book, Fast Track Adoption. Of course, this book devastated Cindy. The book is basically how to con a mother out of her baby for those who don't know. This book hurt Cindy and made her feel forgotten. Sadly she took her life three years ago on April 8, 2008 because of this book.
When I first heard this story, I was utterly horrified. I hope prospective adoptive parents stop and think before they purchase this book. This is not the way to go. If you want to honor your child and your child's natural parents, do it ethically. This would be one way to honor first parents. Make sure that there was no coercion on your part or the part of the agency. Make sure that you have your child's records.
Today and tomorrow please say a pray for Cindy and her family. Remember her. Lets fight to make sure that no more parents are hurt by the unscrupulous actions of agencies and greedy wannabe parents.
2 comments:
Apparently, the birthmother of Hugh Jackman's adopted child met a similar fate... what a tragic compounding of the loss that adoptees face, when the grieving birthparent takes her own life in a misguided effort to stop the pain! There are always other, better solutions; please, dear birthparents, don't deny your child the chance for reunion by causing their search to end at a gravesite! Your life is far more precious than this fate suggests!
Thanks Elizabeth. You have to realize that your agency treats mothers as equals in the adoption thing. You and I both know most agenies don't support mothers for diddly squat. That is why I do reommend Abrazo for both mothers and adoptive parents. Of course my selfish motive is knowing that you will see to it that the adoptee will have access to his/her full information.
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