There is a blogger out there that really weirds me out. She uses bible phrases and her own personal twist to define "real" motherhood.I don't think she even wants to consider the adoptee's feelings on this. She is getting all kinds of hurrahs over it as well from adoptive parents. The blogging world of adoption is starting to see a resurging of those kinds of adoptive parents.
Here is a blogger that thinks she hung the moon.
For these types of adoptive mothers, do you believe that you own your child? Seriously you are way too threatened over terminology. You both should really listen to the adoptee's point of view. All adoptees. Not just the happy yappy ones. The angry ones as well. All the ones in between as well too. By ignoring the other adoptees that don't say what you want them to say, you are ignoring the thoughts that your child might feel.
This is how I look at it. My natural mother and my adoptive mother are both my "real" mothers. Period. There is no discussion or analyzing this deeply. They both are very real to me. The adoptive mothers have got to realize that they would not be mothers if these natural mothers hadn't relinquished their children.
Lets look at another example. Two parents get divorced. They both remarry to other individuals. Here are two sets of parents. A mother and her husband, the step father. A father and his wife, the step mother. Children are expected to love both sets of parents in this situation. How is it that adoption is any different? Of course this is saying when adoption is done in the best interest of the child. Are any of these parents any less a real parent? No. It should be said the same for natural parents.
It would behoove adoptive parents to remember this. You would not be a parent of any kind without the natural parents.