Sunday, September 07, 2008


In recent months I have had several mothers contact me. Sadly they are from Florida. Namely its three attorneys, Michael Shorstein, Patricia Stowbridge, and Jeanne Tate. There are many other states with crooked adoption attorneys. Being an adoptee rights activist and adoption reformist, Florida and Utah are some of the most adoption friendly states in the country. They favor the adoptive parents and more importantly the adoption agencies and attorneys. I want to present some solid advice for expectant mothers being targeted by adoption agencies and their attorneys.

Adoption like abortion is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You can survive this. You do have resources. You can get WIC, foodstamps, and medicaid. Its easy to do. Always remember that you have options. I along with many others can help you with those options.

In 1996, I discovered that I was pregnant with my first daughter, Dakota. My husband and I got married in June of that year. We didn't have the money to bring her into this world. I was lucky in that I had a very dear friend at the restaurant that I worked at. She told me what to do. I also had a great case worker. Adoption and abortion were not even part of the solution for me. My case worker got me on foodstamps and medicaid. She also suggested WIC. If I can do it, then so can you. There is no shame in using the resources that you and your family have paid into.

So you don't want to abort, you next choice is parenting and adoption. Here is some facts that I found with the OriginsUSA website. In many cases of adoption, the adoption attorney represents both the adoptive parents and the natural parents. This is a conflict of interest. This only happens in adoption. According to Elizabeth Samuels:

"Most state laws, in contrast to the laws of many other countries, provide that consent may be given and become irrevocable almost immediately after the child's birth. Under the laws in more than half the states, irrevocable consent can be established in fewer than four days. The Article concludes that the laws of most states do not sufficiently promote mothers' deliberate decisionmaking. It recommends laws that make it more likely mothers will be offered skilled, unbiased counseling; will receive clear, complete information; and will have adequate time to decide."

Most open adoption agreements are not legally binding. If an adoptive parent breaks the agreement, there is no recourse for a natural parent. It does not reverse the adoption. Once you make an adoption plan, expect to be dogged by the adoption agency and the attorney. They will belittle you in order to get you to relinquish. They will make all kinds of promises in order to get you to sign that dotted line. Think long and hard before you do. You have the right to change your mind. You have the right to say no to this. It will take a strong will. It will take strong determination. You can do it.

Common questions that they will pose to you.
  • Don't you want your child to have two parents?
  • You do know that single mothers live lower than the poverty line?
  • You can not complete your education if you don't place.
  • If you don't place with us, you will have to pay back all the funds of the adoptive parents.
There are many more. I want you to know that you can raise your child. You don't need to make this kind of decision. If you need help please contact me through my comments section, I will get you to the people that can help you. No matter where you are. I will get you the help that you need to make yourself a successful parent.


Anonymous said...

Please note: most states prohibit any requirement of repayment of money contributed to maternity support if a woman changes her mind about placing and provides the adoption professional or adoptive family with timely notice.

Amyadoptee said...

What is timely notice? How many agencies really tell this information to a mother? You and I both know that the agencies don't.

Anonymous said...

right...i bet it s more than a guess that "timely notice" is literally a "time/day/ stamp the agencies, attornies, social workers, and church leaders orchestrate to suit their planned agendas???

Anonymous said...

...the day at the hospital when the baby thieves took my baby...the next day i called her and asked for her them, this was just a tiny issue, an incident that they "overlooked..."

i would say that 24 hours was indeed "timely notice..." a law and a fact that they just didnt "feel" like addresses at the time...the pro adoption fields ultimately just change and twist the law to whatever suits their needs and wants at the "time" what a diseased 4 letter word.....