Today almost a month after an adoptee found and has reunited, she left an organization that I am a part of. I was the one who deleted her account. Honestly I am little upset about it. No I do not begrudge her reunion. I got her the phone numbers of a really good confidential intermediary in our birth state. I totally understand what its like to be denied your identity. I have been denied mine for fourty years. Not as long as she has. I still understand. I have walked many miles over what she has done. In fact, I will doing it for years to come.
I help others reunite because I can't reunite for my own self. I don't have the spare three to four hundred dollars it would take to use this same confidential intermediary. Even then I would rather use Kinsolving instead. I would rather have my information for me to decide and make contact. I have done all the research and footwork needed to reunite. In fact, I have a support system already in place.
On Friday, I reunited another adoptee. I gave her the information and she finished her search. She had already spoken with her brother and her mother. I had the help of another adoptee who gave me access to her databases. I do not mind doing it. I just wish that these folks would stand up and fight not just for themselves but for the millions of other adoptees.
How can we ask the mothers and fathers to do stand up when we aren't willing to stand up for ourselves? Many of the people who have been fighting for years for all of us already have their records. They already have their reunions. Some good and some bad. They however still stand up and fight. We may even fight amongst ourselves. If the natural parents and the adoptive parents are willing to stand up and help us fight, why can't we do the same?
I guess I will never understand it. There are still millions of adoptees who are searching. There are still millions of parents desperate to find their child. Yet here we sit letting the industry control what should be our right.