Sunday, October 12, 2008


I do because I get to flame them. I am going to tear the comment apart bit by bit. My commentary in color. First I want to reference a very important article. Yep it is the Alan Guttmacher institute's report on this little ingenious training for EXPECTANT MOTHERS. Notice I did not say "birthmother." These are expectant mothers. They have not given birth nor have they signed any relinquishment forms. You see that was your first mistake. Second mistake was coming to an adoptee's blog which is visited by NATURAL MOTHERS, adoptive parents, and some very angry adoptees.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "TEACHING ADOPTION IN ORDER TO PROMOTE IT":

I think you are taking this training completely out of context and making into something it is not. This training is actually about reproductive choice and ensuring women facing an unplanned pregnancy have access to all of their options that they choose to explore. Actually no its not about reproductive choice. Its about coercing women into relinquishing. Read that report above. Women consider keeping their own children. These social workers and volunteers push their religious views onto these women. Training healthcare providers, social workers and other personnel about adoption practice today is an efficient way to ensure they are prepared to deliver the best of services that they can to a woman who may be ambivalent about parenting. Nope wrong here again. Most women are not that ambivalent about parenting. Most want to parent but are not provided resources. I have news for you, there are many women in this circumstance and these women should have access to this option and be able to learn about the option, otherwise her rights as a birth mother (There you go again with that nasty word. The correct terminology is expectant mother. She has not signed away her rights and she has not given birth yet. You would be very wise in remembering that.), her rights as a woman, are being violated(Her rights are being violated in being coerced into making a choice she doesn't want to make). This choice that many women make is certainly a tough one but how dare(how dare me you should talk! Coming onto an adoptee's blog when you have not done the research. This training is to coerce women into relinquishing) you think that the main impetus of these trainings is merely to "convince" birth mothers to place their infant for adoption. Any credible(credible is the key word. How many credible agencies are there? Are we talking the agencies of the National Council for Adoption? Then you have thrown credible out the frigging window. ) adoption agency will continue to engage in options counseling--non-directive, non-judgmental and non-bias-- with the birth mother(There you go with that word again. She is an expectant mother. She has not given birth nor has she relinquished yet) until she makes a plan for her infant, be it parenting, kinship arrangement or voluntary adoption. Unfortunately, there are too many providers who are the first to hear a woman is uncertain about her interest or ability in parenting, who then place their own personal beliefs or judgments ahead of the needs of their patient. Medical professionals get trained in numerous areas to continue their learning and advance their knowledge to better serve their patients. What makes adoption training any different? Adoption training is about coercion. They teach how to belittle a woman. Again read that report. Apparently these adoption trainings are important... considering there are too many people out there who do not respect a woman's right to choose, as well as many folks who continue to believe and perpetuate myths and misconceptions about adoption. Geez you must be an agency crone. You sound just like an adoption agency social worker. Who do you work for? Are you with the National Council for Adoption? Just couldn't resist a nasty putting me in place. Did you really put me in my place? Most adoptive parents disapprove of the NCFA and their tactics. Their voices are getting louder and louder because they too are tired of being screwed over by people just like you. With adoptees like me and natural mothers voices getting screaming loud, I wonder when YOU are going to start listening.

Granted women deserve full access to choice, I am the first one to support that choice. However I highly disagree with coercive tactics used by adoption agencies. Now lets look at that Alan Guttmacher Institute report.

One of the key lines in that report was this one. It stunned me when I read it back in 2005 .

Marquardt noted that counselors were encouraged "to identify clients as deluded, not living in the real world, not being practical, participating in self-betrayal, being ignorant, and generally being unable to make good choices,'s the choice the counselor would make for the client." He commented that such a negative view of the client is counterproductive, by preventing the counselor from establishing a constructive rapport with the client or aiding the client to make the choice that is best for her."

Gee whiz that sounds coercive to me. This next portion of that report is even scarier.

"Finally, a number of participants noted a hostile training environment that left them feeling uncomfortable and even unsafe. For some, this discomfort stemmed from the religious overtones to the training, which one participant noted "actually included prayer." Marsha Gelt, from the Center for Health Training in Oakland, California, a regional training center for the Title X family planning program, said that those conducting the training she attended represented either Christian or Mormon adoption agencies (NCFA's key constituency). She was upset by the religious nature of the training, in part because government funding was being used to sponsor the training. Similarly, Marquardt noted that "no effort was made to provide balance to the overtly Christian tenor of the discussion" or "to correct the comments of participants who discussed the importance of placing children in 'good Christian homes.'" Related to this was the fact that many trainers and trainees were from crisis pregnancy centers or antichoice organizations, "creating an environment that seemed to barely tolerate those in the room who were pro-choice."

Creating a hostile environment for not only the trainees but also for the women involved. Lastly I will end with a story. A good friend of mine went to a crisis pregnancy center to get a medicaid verification test for her pregnancy. My friend was married and with her two year old son at the time. She was asked THREE TIMES to relinquish her child for adoption in front of husband and child. Gee really nice to encourage a new family. Everyday women walk into a crisis pregnancy centers just to get a medicaid pregnancy test. They get asked to relinquish without being asked their thoughts and feelings. These so called medical professionals are also violating HIPPA laws by telling prospective adoptive parents which single women are pregnant. Another area of attack is these agencies are hitting the schools to get the girls to relinquish. Another area even worse, prospective adoptive parents are being encouraged to hit the junior highs and high schools of America. Prospective adoptive parents are now leaving business cards for pregnant waitresses. This form of training needs to go. It can not be done in a respectful light for women across America because the people doing this training seek to profit off the very babes that these women deliver. This very training comes from agencies that seek to keep all of this information sealed from all parties involved in the adoption especially the adoptee.

I hope you have nice day. I hope and pray that God helps you see the light.


The Improper Adoptee said...

Oh my, my.....cute little game of twisty turny this Anonymous troll is playing with you Amy, I bet they are so mad that we just aren't that stupid, nor do they get to keep their demonic plans secret anymore like in the 50's thanks to the internet, and all of us speaking out-shall I pass them a tissue?... :)rights as a "birthmother"....uh, huh. Yup, just put that out there when you know full well, people like YOU take all the rights and control AWAY from the "birthmother" you baby trafficking sorry excuse for a human being-This is a great blog Amy-good for you, I am glad you exposed this infant stealing program-it makes me sick how Christians throw what they think is their religon out to single expectant Mothers-I do NOT remember the New Testament saying ONCE, that if a baby is born out of wedlock, the child should be ripped away and given to an infertile couple-nope, I remember Christ stopping a stoning though...Christians use this God does not want a woman to raise her child alone mentality like Christian slave owners used the mark of Cain theory to become rich in "The New World", and own other people and say they deserved it and they use scriputure from the Old Testament and let it go over the head of Christ-you know that little ORDER of forgivness. I think we all should call the toll free number in the orginal blog you wrote about this training astrocity and COMPLAIN like hell about it-I'm going too....

Cassi said...

Very good, informative post. You did a great job at making your points and getting the knowledge out there that SHOULD be known by everyone.
As a woman who was sent to an adoption agency for "counseling" by my HIGH SCHOOL nurse, thank you for including this disgusting process in your facts.
Those infant adopgtgion classes are disgusting and should be outlawed NOT FUNDED by our government.

maybe said...

I'm glad Guttmacher has reserched and reported on this.

They (NCFA agencies) are tageting young women who are SO vulnerable and in need of help at a critical time in the life. It's just too easy for them to resort to these disgusting brainwashing tactics in order to get more products into the pipeline (oops, I meant to say babies).

Anonymous said...

Hello truth teller: Thank You for your blog and helping to spread the truth concerning this baby transfer training program.It came to my attention in 2004 that "The Infant adoption Awareness Act" had been passed ,so I decided to do my own investagation and wrote an article based on my findings which I am including the link here. I sent the Alan Guttmacher institute a copy of my article, so I hope it encouraged them to do their own investagating if it hadn't already started..It is important to remember others who are hell bent on keeping business as usual have an agenda to silence us. I believe they thought they had full access to pregnant Mothers without any interferance.They were/are wrong!

Keep up the good work!
In truth,Linda Webber,reunited Mom

Robin said...

All this facilitator is doing is justifying the crime and not doing too good a job of it, Amy. Good for you for fighting back and we Moms thank you.