Mission Trips and My Girls

Today it was difficult.  I had to take my oldest daughter to the Houston International Airport very early this morning.  I know that she will be fine because she is with members of my life group.  She is going to Costa Rica for the first time.  She is seventeen and so independent.  I am so proud of her as well.  I know that she will be fine but I am a mother and such I will worry.

I love the Extreme Makeover people.  They gave me a bridal shower where I received so many wonderful gifts for my new home and my new life with my husband.  They have been so supportive of me.  I have learned so much from them. 

Oh that is right.  You guys haven't met him, let alone hear me talk about him.  I got divorced four years ago.  It was the best thing.  He was already emotionally cheating on me with his new wife.  He was abusive and an alcoholic.  My life is totally different.  I have a brand new home.  Yes brand new home.  I got my VA disability and that allowed us to purchase our home.  We moved in ten days after our nuptuals.  We have had our ups and downs as any couple but it has been wonderful. 

I met him while working for Time Warner Cable.  I was a cable installer and he was a maintenance tech.  Yep I was the token bitch for that office.  I laugh because most of the guys treated me like one of the guys.  I learned the most about cable from my husband, then coworker. 

Life has been good.  I can't complain.  I have decided to begin my search again. I have a little bit more information as I had both of my birth parents contacted.  It was the same as before with my birth mother.  Sadly it was the same for my birth dad.  It could be for several reasons.  I will be covering that and other escapades.

Improper Adoptee Dearest

Yes! I went there because I am beyond sick and tired of this continuous nightmare.   I am now taking action.  I asked you several times to remove references to my family, friends, and me.  You refused.  I don't think that you understand the irreparable harm that you have committed against my family, friends, and me.  I did nothing to you to warrant this treatment.  I begged and pleaded with you to remove references to my family and friends.  I asked you to delete the posts about Spookie.  I tried everything to help you forgive and move on with your life.  You just do not get it.

I just happened to stumble upon this latest diatribe of vitriol.  I am Amy Burt, also known as Amyadoptee.  I am not some weak minded individual who lacks fortitude and strength.  I am not someone who is easily fooled.  I no longer participate in adoptee rights because I have so much more on my plate that warrants my attention.  I am a disabled Desert Storm Veteran who sadly fought for your right to spill your vitriol all over the internet.  I am a survivor of Hidradenitis Suppurativa.  I am a survivor of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  I am the kickass mother of two precious blessings that I call my daughters whom I now have physical custody.  I survived the worst judge in the history of Texas.  I survived one of the worst divorces in the history of Texas.  I am not someone who is easily manipulated or controlled.

Approximately in 2009, Spookie and I talked because I was worried about a mother who was making contact with her.  This woman had made threats against me via the United States Postal Service.  She had mailed letters to both me and Spookie.  During my divorce, she began mailing them to my ex-husband.  I still have those letters which were all post dated out of Indianapolis, Indiana.  My ex-husband and Spookie gave me those letters.  Because of many of the rants on your part, this woman was led to believe things that weren't true. 

Even when Spookie and I were at odds with each other, she did not harass me to the extent that you are proclaiming.  She pretty much left me alone.  Spookie never attempted to hack into my email, blog, or any other online internet product.  I know that others did it.  I know their names.  Karma has a funny way of coming back and hurting people.  Eventually those that did perpetrate harm against me and my daughters will get their Karma.  I will get justice although I am no longer concerned about any of that old crap.  

In the mean time, this is my one and only post to Improper Adoptee.  I ask you now and forever to clean my name from your blog.  If you want to be considered a valuable asset to the adoption community, remove the content about Spookie and I. 

Open for Business Again

Wow, it sure has been a long time.  I let my Go Daddy account go.  I am back here, dusting things off and seeing what is going on with my old blog.  I realize that not too many people remember this blog.  I had to stop and take care of life.  It caught up with me.  So here I am again folks.  I have not a clue as to where to go.  I think I will paint the place and change some stuff around and see what happens from there.

ADAM HERRMAN WHERE ARE YOU?

Here is the age enhanced picture of Adam Herrman. There are still even more reports coming out that his adoptive parents abused him. Lets hope that nothing bad has happened but I do know that we might have to be realistic on this.

Help his natural family find him.

JUST WTF??????????

ULB told me about this case. It involves an adoptee, Adam Herrman, who has been missing since 1999. Forget the Caylee Anthony story! This case went unreported for ten years. This little boy was adopted by a Kansas couple, Doug and Valerie Herrman, when he was two out of the foster care system. Remember this story about the adoptive mother that was beating her daughter? The girl had to escape out of the window in order to stop the beatings. Her sisters were in the family freezer. This story is probably similar to it but there is no body nor little boy. The boy has been missing for years. Ten years to be exact. The adoptive parents did not report it because they were having too many issues with him and just did not want to deal with it anymore. They were still however claiming him on their taxes and their bankruptcy forms. They were also still collecting federal adoption subsidies in the form of Medicaid. So they just remained mum on his whereabouts. Did they receive money for this child? One really wonders. Of course once the adoption is final there is no going back and checking on the child just like the previously mentioned case with the three girls. I think the Russians have it right in the sense that they are required to do follow ups for several years. This is the kind of program that should be implemented here in the United States with foster to adopt, domestic and international adoptions finalized here.

These adoptive parents have stated that he kept running away and that he was homeschooled. They got tired of dealing with it. I wonder if there is proof of that in the way of police reports. One of his adoptive brothers came forward. He stated that these adoptive parents were abusing him and his brother, Adam. He even called the police but told them when they arrived that he lied. Other relatives have reported him being chained to a bathtub faucet. Nice really nice.

Detectives in this case hopes that this gets national attention so that someone anyone can find this young man. Adam is now 21 years of age. The news will be putting an age enhanced photo soon. Some of the main stream media has finally began reporting on it.

If you have seen a young man who looks similar, please report it as quickly as possible. I may rag on the parents who put their Russian adoptees in that Montana ranch but at least they are being cared for by someone. Someone knows where they are at. It is unexcuseable for adoptive parents to not report that their son is missing. So much for adoption being similar to the real thing.

SOME PEOPLE BELONG IN JAIL

Seriously, people just like the Banks belong in jail. It doesn't seem like they have to do any kind of restitution. They have to a press conference as to why it is bad to scam people in adoption. Oh Really? Like that is going to stop their corrupt ways. They will just find another way to contribute to adoption.

According to this news article, this is what they have to do:

"During a hearing before U.S. District Judge David Sam on Tuesday morning, the four -- Karen Banks; her husband, Scott Banks; Coleen Bartlett; and Karalee Thornock -- all admitted to aiding and abetting the improper entry of an alien and agreed to cease participation in any domestic or international adoption business.

In return, prosecutors have agreed to dismiss dozens of charges and seek five-year probation terms when the defendants are sentenced Feb. 25. The aiding and abetting charge carries a maximum sentence of six months in prison and a $5,000 fine.

All four are required to make monthly contributions during their probationary periods to a trust established for the benefit of Samoan children adopted through their agency. Karen and Scott Banks, who operated Focus on Children (FOC), must also:

Participate in a news conference after their sentencing, where they will make "forthright admission" about the conduct that led to the charges against them. The purpose is to educate the public and others who might be engaged in similar conduct, according to the Banks' plea agreements. Their statements at that conference must be approved before hand by the U.S.Attorney.

Meet with the U.S. Attorney's Office and the State Department to provide information concerning FOC's adoption practices in Samoa, Guatemala and other countries. The information will be used to see if adjustments need to be made in U.S. laws to ensure children are protected in the future.

Relinquish all rights in adoption documents, photographs and other papers related to Samoan adoptions."

There were a 135 counts against these folks and they get to walk away. I guess it is because we have to protect the adoption agency. Please Give Me A Break! They wonder why adoptees are so angry. Can you imagine what these adoptees will feel when they find out what the hell happened as this is all in the news and has been recorded on how many different blogs?

REMEMBER THIS STORY?

It just got funkier. Baby Jessica is an adoption case where the father did not relinquish his rights and fought for his daughter. The Supreme Courts in both Iowa and Michigan ruled in his favor. Well the so called adoptive father is in the news again. His apartment complex caught fire in which his apartment was also damaged. I can see that being news. Baby Jessica was renamed Anna.

This man has not gotten over the court case obviously. The rest of the article centers around the court case battle. All I can say is that you have got to be kidding me. You never got over losing that battle or the daughter that wasn't meant to be yours in the first place. His wife, Roberta DeBoer went on to form a group called Hear My Voice that is pro adoptive parent in difficult adoption cases. This site is under construction for God only knows how long. It is ridculous that a set of adoptive parents are still whining and pining away for a child that was never theirs to begin with. This man still had the picture of Anna in his home.

I can understand the fire being news but turning the fire into a way to attempt contact is beyond me.

FUN SITES TO HELP HOMESCHOOL

Did I mention that I am a homeschool mom? I am always always on the lookout for cool things for my girls to do. Since my budget is tight, I look for inexpensive ways to find cheap but effective tools to help my daughters with their learning and their educational skills. History and Science are the toughest courses to teach. It is a constant battle to find interesting things that we can use at home.

I found something interesting. Brightstorm! It is an educational site that your middle school and high school age children can use to help with writing, SAT scores, and other courses. I am always on the lookout for the cool and exciting because I have a daughter heading into that age group. You can sign up for a free account as well in which you get one free video to view.

Brightstorm

They actually have videos that are aimed at teaching students to write, study history, prepare for colledge entrance exams, and many other courses. Ooh boy is this a collection that I am going to bookmark and come back to. It is set up as a video classroom from your computer. It is a really neat site. They come with worksheets. You can get a one year course for $49.00. Oh I like this site. I can up with supporting worksheets to help my daughters learn. Even if your child needs tutor help, Brightstorm! can really help you. If you are homeschooling, this is another way to help you teach your children. Check out Brightstorm!

HERE IS THE LETTER TO EDITORS OF INDIANA NEWSPAPERS

My name is Amy K. Burt. I am one of the founders of a grass roots organization of Indiana adoptees, first families and adoptive famillies. We are Indiana Open. Maine just joined the ranks of Alabama, Alaska, Kansas, New Hampshire and Oregon. They have restored the rights of adult adoptees to their original birth certificates. It is time to do the same for Indiana adoptees and their families.

According to the Evan B. Donaldson Adotpion Institute, 90% of relinquishing mothers want contact from their children placed through adoption. In states with adoptee access, that percentage is even higher.
In Oregon alone, abortion rates have dropped 18%. This is a state that changed their law without any federal law or mandate changes to the abortion laws of this country.. During this time frame, adoption rates have also increased.
In New Hampshire, there has been no denial of contact for the last two years.

It is time to give adult adoptees equal treatment under the law. It is time to stop making adoptees responsible for the future reproductive choices of women. It is time to give adult adoptees back their right to privacy, their due process rights and their right to free association. The only way to do so is by giving them unrestricted access to their original birth certificates

Sincerely,
Amy K. Burt
http://indianaopen.org.

ILLINOIS, INDIANA AND CONFIDENTIAL INTERMEDIARY SYSTEM

Santa's elves delivered the Christmas wishes of adoptees in Illinois. Three Illinois bloggers have been talking about it for a while. Illinois has had the same CI system that Indiana has but it is more complex than Indiana. Currently Illinois legislators will be considering legislation that basically allows the previous CI contacts and denials to stand. Those natural parents still have control over the original birth certificate. They do not have to state any kind of preference because the CIs do it for them. That leads to corruption. The natural parents should tell the adoptee that they do not want contact. It should not come from a governmental entity.

I too have had horrors in the CI system. I know that at the end of my search, there will be a death. I hope that my father is still alive because he wanted me. My agency does not contact natural fathers. So I was not allowed to contact my father through them. I am tired of agencies controlling adoptees and their families.

Another blog brought up the point of free association. I got to thinking about this. Many of these right to association lawsuits are about labor and right to exclude individuals from specialized groups. The author brings up good points but the key thing here is that these groups or individuals who chose to exclude do it to the individual's face either by letter, by email or by phone. They do not get to have the protection of a government entity such as that of CI system in both Indiana and Illinois. There is no other group of people that have that kind of specialized governmental protection. Many of these women do not want that kind of protection. They do not want the government, any group or especially any adoption agency affiliated group speaking for them. They do not want the government collecting medical information on them. It is a violation of their HIPPA rights. So when does it become okay to violate the HIPPA laws in this country? My medical information does not belong to my children. However, I do educate my children on possible health issues. It is my job as a mother.

These laws also act as a restraining order against adoptees and natural parents. We do not have the luxury of having due process rights. We are found guilty because of the status of our birth. Even though there is a few mothers who did not voluntarily relinquish their rights, other women did do sign away their rights. They by no means relinquished the rights of adoptees.

What this all amounts to is the control of the adoption industry over its participants. They want to retain that control. The shroud of secrecy which was wanted by adoptive parents is now hurting them as well. We are still in this position because of the fears of the past. Adoptees should not be held accountable for the reproductive decisions of women in the future. The reproduction portion of our lives are over and done with. Our mothers for the most part are not able to reproduce any longer. I personally do not want special privileges but I do want equal rights as the non adopted.

ILLINOIS ADOPTEES IN THE NEWS

I thought about this. I really did. Something that blows my mind is that the legislators actually listen to this privacy issue. How can someone get new rights? How can parents control a document that belongs to their child especially when that child become an adult? How are adoptees held accountable for a contract signed by other parties which the adoptee had no choice in? I just don't get it. We are also held responsible for the sexual reproductive choice of every woman after the fact of our birth.

You can read the interesting details here

Here is the link and the story:


Adoptees lobby for access to birth records
By DAVE BAKKE
THE STATE JOURNAL-REGISTER
Posted Jan 02, 2009 @ 11:58 PM

Adoptees in Illinois are lobbying to change state law that prohibits access to their birth certificates.

Mary Lynn Fuller of Urbana recently delivered more than 80 letters to the Illinois Office of Vital Records, 605 W. Jefferson St., from adoptees and their families asking the state to grant full access to their birth records.

“Our main goal,” says Fuller, “was to raise public awareness. I knew I wouldn’t be walking away with the original birth certificates. But lots of people have no idea those records are sealed.”

The state’s concern has been that providing full access to the birth certificates to adoptees will invade the privacy of parents who put their children up for adoption.

Current law limits birth-certificate access to Illinois adoptees who already have the consent of their birth relatives. Otherwise, the adoptee must go to court to try and obtain access. Providing access to the birth certificates any other way is a misdemeanor.

State Rep. Sara Feigenholtz, D-Chicago, chairwoman of the House Human Services Appropriations Committee, has sponsored bills to widen access to birth certificates for certain adoptees. Feigenholtz was adopted as a child.

But Fuller said adoption-advocacy groups she is affiliated with opposed the most recent bill, introduced last year, because it did not treat all adoptees equally. Adoptees had to be 21 or older to gain unfettered access. Fuller believes there should be no conditions put on access to the birth certificates for any adoptee.

The state has an adoption registry and confidential intermediary program to help adoptees searching for their birth parents. The registry provides identifying information to mutually consenting members of birth and adoptive families.

In the intermediary program, a court-appointed delegate is granted access to confidential adoption information. The intermediary then contacts the birth parent to determine whether they are open to hearing from their child.

“But if they catch the mother off-guard,” said Fuller, “they may say they don’t want contact. That closes the door. If the adoptee does it, and they say they don’t want contact, they can leave their phone number. Once the mother adjusts, sometimes they hear from them later.”

For more than 30 years, Fuller has been working for greater access to records for adoptees. She was adopted as a child and eventually embarked on a search for her birth parents that took some 20 years to finish.

In 1997, she learned that both of her birth parents had died. However, she said, her search was not in vain because she has reunited with her siblings and other birth relatives.

Dave Bakke can be reached at 788-1541.

THIS IS A CLUE INTO THE THINKING OF A WOMAN

After reading this article by the Bastardette, I really wonder if legislators think that a woman can make up her mind on issues concerning her body and her life. Women are intelligent human beings. Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin both ran for high offices in our country. Obviously people thought that these women were qualified to make decisions for our country. Kay Bailey Hutchinson is another example. I hope she runs against Rick Perry and wins the Governor's position. I really wish someone somewhere would do a study on why women have abortions. So maybe we can finally clear all of this nonsense up once and for all. Two of my heros, Ann Richards and Molly Ivans, were very intelligent and delightfully snarky women.

Both of my children were accidental pregnancies. Were they unwanted? Hell no. Would I have ever in my life ever consider relinquishing any child? No. I have also never had an abortion either.

This article is a clue into how women basically view adoption vs. abortion.

Abortion, not adoption - Two women tell how they would prefer termination to giving up the child

Published: Saturday | January 3, 2009

Athaliah Reynolds, Staff Reporter

At least two women who have had abortions say they would rather terminate a pregnancy than give the child up for adoption.

The women were responding to a call recently made by several members of the church community and other anti-abortion advocates for expectant mothers contemplating abortion to take the babies to them instead.

Father Gregory Ramkissoon, executive director of Mustard Seed, threw out the lifeline during a press conference recently, saying his organisation and other churches would be willing to care for children whose mothers believed they could not keep them.

However, the two young professionals who spoke with The Gleaner said they would feel guiltier if they were to carry the baby to term and then give it up for adoption, than they would if they terminated the pregnancy.

"I would feel like I neglected my child," said 22-year-old Cecile Lyn.

Lyn explained that the idea of carrying a child to full term and then turning it over to an adoption agency or the church would be more traumatic than having an abortion.

"I don't really see the sense in that," she said. "Why bond with a child for nine months and then give it away?"

She said her decision to have an abortion three years ago was based on the fact that she had just started university and had no money or support.

Lyn explained that after she told the father of the child that she was pregnant, he broke off the relationship, leaving her to deal with the situation on her own.

"I don't regret having an abortion. It was the best thing for me to do at that time because I wasn't ready to be a mother," she said.

Twenty-six-year-old Karice Sinclairshared Lyn's sentiments. "I couldn't sleep at night knowing that my child was alive in one of those homes and is probably suffering and just leave it like that," she said. Sinclair said she believed that this was a worse fate than abortion.

Sinclair admitted that her decision to have an abortion at 21 years old was a matter of convenience. "I was just starting out, just finished school and I made the silly mistake of getting pregnant," she told The Gleaner.

Reverend Donovan Cole, a member of the Coalition for the Defense of Life, said it was unfortunate that some persons saw it necessary to put convenience over life. "It shows a real deterioration in values," he said.

Cole said the Church would be willing to care for the child until the mother was in a position to do so herself.

Debate on abortion intensified in September 2008, when a joint select committee of Parliament began hearing submissions from the public on the controversial issue.

The committee has been set up to consider the recommendations of the Abortion Policy Review Group.

Names changed on request.

athaliah.reynolds@gleanerjm.com