Friday, January 26, 2007


It is frustrating living a life like mine. Some days I think that I am sinking the information in. Other times it just falls on deaf ears. I just want to make some small points here.

  1. Adoption is supposed to be about the children. If it truly was about the children, then we would have access to our records. We would be the deciding factor in who receives our records. It would not be the state legislators. It would not be our adoptive parents. It would not be our first parents. It would not be the adoption agencies, the social workers, the attorneys, and their volunteer minions.
  2. Adoption is supposed to be about the children. It is not about an adoptive parent's needs. It is not about whether or not God has a hand in adoption. It is not about your loss with infertility. It is not about the entitlement you may or may not feel. It drives me insane when someone acts entitled to someone else's child. That entitlement transforms into ownership. You don't own your child or someone else's child.
  3. Adoption is supposed to be about the children. I understand how first parents feel about their children. I am one of those that truly gets what you are feeling. To me, you are all very special to me, even the most angry anti adoption parents. Yet you have to realize that we do love our adoptive parents. Just like I view an attack on you is an attack on me. I feel that same way with my adoptive parents. Please remember that. I view an attack on them as an attack on me. Our relationship with our parents are very important to us. Parents mean you as well as them.
  4. Adoption is supposed to be about the children. It is morally unethical for adoption agencies to earn such a huge profit of me. When discussing the price of an adoption, I just feel nasty. Knowing that I was bought and paid for really makes me feel icky and all the more so as property. I think the money should be taken out of adoption. If that were the case, then the coercion would probably start to reduce. If we would also accept a woman's sexuality as normal just like a man's, we would also begin to remove coercion. Pregnancy, infertility, and sex are all normal human functions for a woman. If sex is normal for a man it should be the same for a woman. It does take two to make a baby.

I can quote all the facts, the stats, and all the information on moms, adoptees, and adoption. I can point everyone to these facts. Yet we still have the stereotypes who think what they will.


Third Mom said...

Right on, Amy, every body needs to read this!

Anonymous said...

Ditto to what Margie said. This is wonderful. Thank you for stating it so well.

Rebecca said...

Amy, This is so well put. I see so many instances where if it were really about the children, things would be different. I'm not sure why I didn't do it sooner, but I'm going to link to you. I hope that's ok. Take care, Rebecca

Amyadoptee said...

Thanks Thirdmom, I swear its like reading my own mother when I read you. Mom2one, I will have yours and Rebecca later.

Anonymous said...


Hey, remind me to tell you next time we talk about how much I cost my parents. You will love that story.

Ungrateful Little Bastard said...

"Yet we still have the stereotypes who think what they will." Yeah, sad but true. It's preaching to the choir most times. But preach on! At least we get it :)