Friday, February 08, 2008


I am not sure but I may have an opportunity to support one of the fathers who are fighting for his rights. I hope I get that chance. I would truly like to understand why these fathers have to fight so hard to parent their own child.

As I think about this extremely tough topic, I wonder about the mothers who continue to go through the placement plan. I wonder about the adoptive parents who continue with the placement when they KNOW that someone is fighting them for their right to parent. Do you folks sleep well at night? Do you really feel good about what you are doing? Can you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning? Do you realize what you are doing to these children? Don't tell me that if these fathers would stop fighting there wouldn't be an issue.

Let me tell you my story. I found out that my natural father wanted me. Granted I was the result of an extramarital affair but he still wanted me. I totally get my natural mother's position. She was totally in love with him. I am positive that when he completely came clean like he did, she was utterly devastated. The difference between my adoptive parents and you is my parents didn't know. They weren't given any copy of the adoption finalization. A quirk that seems to be a characteristic of the Suemma Coleman Home for Unwed Mothers, now called St. Elizabeth Coleman. I do think my adoptive parents do have culpability in adoption but nothing like you folks. You literally take the cake. Now before you call me an ungrateful bastard or say that my adoptive parents are ashamed of me, think long and hard. I am your child fourty two years down the road. Kids these days tend to ego surf. Heck I have done on myself.

By the time these children are adults, adoptee access will be a mute point. It will exist even in Utah. I hope by then adoption will have been reformed completely. I hope adoption will bring in the human element instead of the financial element. I hope that the agencies, these attorneys and the adoptive parents will have to face these adoptees. They will find out what you folks have done. How will you answer their questions? Do you think that they might be a tad mad at you? Heck I am mad at the agency for continuing with the adoption when they knew. Now I am mad at the state of Indiana for denying my constitutional rights by interferring with my birth certificate and holding my records in seizure on the presumption of harm. Eventually the United States will have to own in its participation in what they encouraged at the expense of natural parents and adoptees in this country.

What are you going to do when these children ask why you treated my natural parents the way that you did? For those that think fathers can't raise their own children, you have never met two very dear friends of mine. Scott is an excellent father. Danny, another one, is a cop in my home town. They both did and did it well. If these men can do it and since I have spoken with these fathers, I know that they can do it too. In fact they are already raising children.


Anonymous said...

A dear friend was raised by his single friend and his six other siblings. Now my friend is the most fabulous and involved and loving father I know. Men are more than capable of parenting, and that includes single parenting.

Amyadoptee said...

I don't think these folks realize this. That single mothers and fathers can do just fine. Its a real shame. I am continually saddened by these type of individuals who feel that they are entitled to someone else's children.

Anonymous said...

My son, who I relinquished to adoption, has raised his daughter (now 11-1/2) kinda on his own, mostly with help from wives and girlfriends. Her mother left them when she was 10 months old. He tried to get me to take her at that point. I considered it, but I believed he might never return. He had already lost two sons to adoption, when his first marriage fell apart. I feared for my granddaughter, but I couldn't let him do it, lose another child, continue our cycle of child abandonment. I knew how important it was, to him and to her, that he hang on to her. And he has. It is probably the most important impact I have had on his life.