Sunday, January 22, 2006

ADOPTION OPINIONATED AS ALWAYS

As a parent, I understand the importance of a loving, trusting, safe, supportive environment for a child to thrive. As a mental health worker, I see so many patients that didn't have that growing up as a child. I see also the influence of drugs and their effects on children and adults. So many of these people didn't get these basic needs met. I have read social histories and case studies of these patients. The common thread in all of these is that they suffer from some degree of attachment disorder. Even though I grew up in good home, even I suffer from it.

As I read the message boards at Courttv, I am horrified at what I read. Its always a woman's fault. In several cases, its no matter what the circumstances. Some do give exceptions to a woman's health. I wonder does that include a woman's mental health? They also give exception to rape and incest. My question - are they willing to prosecute men for sexual offenses? Or do they let them walk? Are they willing to make men accountable for their actions in any way shape and form? They must not because they have laws that restrict birth father's rights. I am talking about putative registries in most of the states. They created these to expediate adoptions. Even though I understand these laws help children, they also enable men to continue acting as they do. It takes a great deal of time to track down a man that won't take responsibility for his actions. They need his signature to continue the adoption. Sometimes its just impossible and it takes months. It leaves children to flounder in the foster care system of our country.

Conservatives are pushing to take choices away from women. They are also pushing closed records legislation which makes it illegal to search. They are even giving out pats on the back to pharmacists who do not wish to sell contraception to women. Even insurance companies won't let women get contraception at a reasonable cost. Yet they pay for viagra. I hope that everyone agrees that human sexuality is a body function. I also believe life begins at conception. Right now in the schools of Texas they are just teaching abstinence. Why can't we teach sexual education and its effects on humanity? Why can't we teach the consequences of having sex? Why can't we teach young girls to have confidence in themselves and their ability to say no and that its okay to say no? Why does the conservative side want women to feel ashamed of their bodies? Why do we put such emphasis on a man's/boy's ability to have sex and that its okay to have it anyway that he can get it? Its even okay to force it on a girl/woman.

I was asked recently why I am married if I seem to bash men all the time. I am lucky in the sense that my husband stepped up to the plate and took care of his responsibility. My own father, my step father as the man who raised me, stepped up to the plate. My first adoptive father didn't. He walked away. He left my mother to raise three girls on her own. I live in an area that promotes a man's promiscuity. Some of the parents actually allow their sons to read playboy at the age of six and eight. Some of the men on this place have been known to beat their wives. They have even cheated and created new children. Leaving their wives and mistresses to raise their offspring. Again I am so thrilled that I have a good husband. I have several friends that step up to the plate daily. Again I feel blessed with knowing them but even they are disgusted by men in general.

I agree that condoms are available on every street corner. Teenagers can't have access to them because they are minors. We don't educate them because its too much information. I have also been very responsible when it comes to my sexual health. My mother was always upfront with me about it. It revolted me when I was first told about it but that was in the seventies.

Adoption agencies are all about big business which I have reported on in the past. I have read studies that report adoption being shoved down women's throats. They are being humiliated even if they choose to raise their own child. Honestly before adoptive parents can go inside and outside this country, they should be forced to consider adopting a foster care child. These children need homes quickly before they are damaged by that system. Adoption laws need to be reformed badly.

What is even sadder is that our own sex is turning against us. Some say that if I abstained or used protection all my life, then others can do the same. True because I am an example of that. Others use the other extreme and use abortion as a form of birth control. All I am asking is to step outside the box. I know that there is no easy answer to this. We need to come up with one though all the same.

1 comment:

kim.kim said...

You make some excellent points.