Saturday, March 04, 2006

AGAIN ADOPTIVE PARENTS

It seems like I need to cover this topic again. It really irritates me that some members of our triad groups like to persecute the adoptive parents. I got an email from a new friend who is an adoptive mother. She is one of those that supports open records. She has stood by her children when they began their search. She has helped them through the entire process. She has not once felt threatened by the process. I am ashamed of the "one who shall not be named." He and members of his groups have persecuted women and men like her who support our cause.

Adoptive parents for the most part are victims just like us. They have been ripped of by the infertility treatment and then spend a fortune to adopt a child. It is the adoption agencies and the forces that "represent them" that win in this situation. My own adoptive mother has had to listen to me tell her what exactly my birthmother has said about me. It breaks her heart because that woman doesn't know me. She feels if my birthmother would get to know me, she would love me as she does. I think my adoptive family is a little prejudice but who am I to judge, right? Unlike me, she still holds out hope that my birthmother will get over her feelings and make contact. I on the other hand do not have that hope. The words that she said were pretty cold and heartless. Heck she called me an accident of biology. She also named me after a tire company and here I am a girl. Go figure.

Everyone has had good times and bad times with their adoptive parents. I understand that there are some who have had horrible adoptive parents. I am not knocking those. I am lucky that I had adoptive parents who truly love me. I am unlucky in that my birthmother just doesn't have good feelings about me. It is never a good situation for anyone. That is why they call it a roller coaster ride. Kudos to this adoptive mother who supported her children. We can't afford to alienate people who support our cause. Especially when we are all caught in the middle by the prolifers and the prochoicers.

1 comment:

afrindiemum said...

you state the situation here perfectly. every situation in adoption (and in life) is different. no one person can speak for every other person's experience. there are similarities and there are vast differences.

thank you for supporting the whole triad. i truly hope that you first mom will want to make contact with you some day. i know how important it is.