OBSESSIONS

Again, I apologize for not writing. I have become obsessed with searching for my birthparents. I have even let my families' needs slide because of it. I am very sorry as well for that lapse in judgement. Most adoptees and birthparents understand but the outside members of our groups don't always understand. Why can't we just let it go? Most people don't understand the anger and the pain that we feel but then their rights aren't being violated as ours are. It is probably one of the few times in our lives where we are actually selfish.

I have written several people recently in key states that are putting new adoption laws on the law books. These people have the opportunity to open our records and free us from the secrets that bind us. What is really sad is that these aren't even our secrets. Many of us don't want them as secrets. We want them out in the open where they can be allowed to heal.

There were two interesting stories recently in news. One was about a member of Ohio's state government. It was about a new law not allowing gays to adopt or foster. The Congressional member's response was a delightful way of telling the Republican members that they are being just goofy. He proposed a law that would forbid Republicans from adopting children. I died laughing at that one. It has been proven that sexual orientation has no effect on a child. This study was done by a group of pediatric doctors. Its funny. My husband is disgusted by gay stuff but he does believe that they deserve equal rights. They don't deserve to be treated like they are a leper of sorts.

The other new law being proposed is about abortion. South Dakota is the first state to abolish abortion. They proposed jail sentences for the doctors who perform it. I wonder if this is not attack on privacy issues concerning a woman's reproductive medical history. I wonder if this is a way to find out what any woman does to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Her medical history will be exposed for the world to see. Maybe this is a way for the pro-lifers to finally attack women who use birth control and women who have had an abortion. They find out their names and haunt them for eternity. What gets me is that the pro-lifers think that all women want is to have an abortion. It is a decision that is never entered to lightly. It is a very difficult decision to make for any woman. In my mind it belongs in the hands of God, the woman, and her doctor. This is more the norm than the other extreme. I do believe that we need to prepare though for all possibilities. I wonder though do they plan to prosecute women who have an abortion. What about the ones who have already had one? From what I understand, there is no exception for the woman's health, rape or incest. What about all the adoptions this will result in? Will they be open or closed? Will the secrets be allowed to proliferate again? Will the women and children in this be made to dirty all over again? It doesn't help our case when Planned Parenthood tells the world that fifty percent of American women have had an abortion. I know that little fact is just plain false.

We all need to stand up and fight back. If they are attacking us on reproductive rights and sexual orientation, it is a matter of time before we all will be sent to the dark ages. I don't want to go back to that. I want to move forward. I want the wounds of adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive families to be healed. So lets all stand up and write our senate and congressional leaders both on the state and the federal level. We will not take being pushed back into the dark ages.