Monday, March 20, 2006

LIFE IN THE ADOPTION TRIAD

Well the rain has slowed down. It should clear out by tomorrow. Hopefully that will be true. We had over three inches of rain here. Makes for sloppy driving. It takes me forty five minutes to drive to my car which is parked five miles away. Red dirty country roads are hell to drive on. I guess it is similiar to the triad stuff.

Its a rocky road for all of us. Most call it a roller coaster ride. I have not been searching as avidly as I have in the past. I know that I need to but life is sometimes in the way. I do have two children and a husband to care for plus all the other little creatures that make life more fun. I know that next week it will be time for me to return a few phone calls because the party I am calling has been busy as well as I have been. I had hoped by now that she would have changed her mind about talking to me. I guess not. Its time for me to take action again. I need to get moving and start putting this little road trip behind me. I will forever be an open records advocate. I will always be an adoption reform advocate. I will also always be a women's right advocate. All I have to do is read my emails, look at my own daughters, read what other bloggers say, look at the patients in the mental hospital that I work at and know that this is a mission for me.

In current news, there is a senator from Louisiana that is proposing a national Putative father registry. I do believe that this should be mandatory. It holds men accountable for having sex. Women for years have been the ones that bore the brunt of it. We have bore that shame, fear, and pain alone. We have had all the responsibility where men have just walked away. We alone have been the ones to make the decision on what is best for us and our children. I met a woman today that was on birth control at the time of her pregnancy. She was considering adoption through the Gladney agency but her boyfriend at the time raised holy hell about it. They ended up getting married and keeping the child. Now where that child is right now I don't know. I believe that women should be given choice. A choice of adoption, abortion, and raising her own child. Its not a decision that for the most part is entered into lightly. I think this is the norm for most women. What the news media gets is the extreme versions of stories. That is what they portray on television. We all need to remember that. I also don't believe that fifty percent of women have had an abortion. I know from my many friends that this is simply not the case. I think maybe there is one maybe two. Since I know these women on a personal level, it was not a decision that was entered into fool heartedly. Fifty percent have used family planning clinics for other health reasons. That is one that I do believe.

Whatever a woman's decision is, its her decision not the government's, not the family planning clinic's, not her family's, nor her church's. Every option has pain to it. There is no ifs ands or buts about it. Its still comes down to her decision.

If it weren't for birthparents, there would be no adoptive children. So those that call us adoption haters remember that. Like I have said repeatedly, we don't want everyone in the triad getting screwed over. Adoptive families should not have to go bankrupt in order to have a child. Birthparents should not have to go through horrid amounts of pain and grief over their lost children. Adoptees across the country deserve to know their truth in all of this. It is not a choice but an obligation on all parties involved. It is a necessity and a right. Adoptees spend a good chunk of change just trying to get a little of bit of information. Adoptive parents spend a huge chunk of change to adopt us. WE should not be charged more money to find our truth. It is owed to us all in the triad. The adoption agencies and our government owe us that much. We adoptees as adults should be given that information. As adults, we have control over own individual lives yet that part of our lives is still controlled by those "who know better." GIVE ME A BREAK.

2 comments:

Mia said...

I completely agree.

Linda said...

You have said it well. I finally
succeeded in getting my medical history when I was 56 years old, my oldest of 6 kids was 37, and two of my children had developed inherted illnesses which were in my heritage.