Monday, August 28, 2006



Wow I still can't believe it. My husband and I took first place. Sometimes I think that I need to be pinched. It was a bittersweet night for the both of us. I had to work that night. My department didn't consider this to be important enough. This is the only roundup that I even compete in plus it is one of two rodeos that I attend all year. The ranch is associated with both of them.

Friday night was kinda a rough one. I looked around the arena. I got alittle misty eyed. I had this fantasy about her and I meeting at this event. Ya know what I am talking about my fellow adoptees!!! My husband's family was there to enjoy the show. All the ranches put on one helluva show. I am proud to be associated with all of them. They helped me get through the night.

I hadn't blogged much because I was getting ready for this event. I also really didn't have much to say. I did spend a great deal of time reading everyone else's blogs. It never ceases to amaze me how we seem to go for the throat every time. Adoptive parents attacking birthparents. Birthparents attacking each other because they don't like the word birthmother. Adoptive parents attacking even adoptees because we choose to search and blog about our experience.

I try to be compassionate when it comes to the individual. I can finally see why certain adoptee groups just stay out of all of it. I as an adoptee don't want to be in the middle of it. I see the "birthparent" vs. "first, natural, biological parents" as a very stupid argument. It takes away from the true mission for the two groups. One of which is to abolish adoption. The other is reform adoption. For the most part, many of the objectives are similiar. Why can't we just join together and tackle those similiar objectives together? Why does everyone have to quibble over words? Everyday that we argue over words and their meanings a mother and child are being separated. Someone's rights are being violated. A child's voice goes unheard. I guess those words are just more important.

The last couple of days have been a little off for me. I found a couple of baby pictures of me. One that I am thinking is shortly after I was brought home. I was thinking that I wished I had more information about my health. I was having chest pains the other day. It has nothing to do with the old ticker. It is fine. I suspect it might be allergies. Everything else has been checked out. The only that isn't is the old allergy thingy. I know that I will never know anything more than what I know now.

The thing that I learned about this stuff is that I have a wonderful husband and two great kids. I have a Mom that truly loves me. Yep she gets this adoption crap. I have a wonderful adoptive family that thinks I hung the moon even if they are super angry at me. My family is truly saddened by her refusal. Me I just don't care anymore. I feel anger and hurt but in time they will fade. I have to give it the Man Upstairs else I go insane. Sorry I guess I am just rambling right now. Oh by the way I also quit smoking and my job. I want to do something else. So I guess I am throwing it upstairs again.



Ginger--Maya's mommy said...

Hi!! I am sorry that you are so angry about being adopted. I totally agree with you about the original BC. I am adopting a baby girl from Guatemala and I already have the original BC. I plan to be very open and honest with her about being adopted. Good Luck!!


Anonymous said...

i think adoptees should be able to say how they feel about there birthmoms giving them up without problems from other people birthmoms can always say how they feel about giving up there chidren without people giving them a hard time

Anonymous said...

i dont think woman who give up ther children for adoption .these woman are not wonderful or great even though other people think these woman are great and wondreful i dont think they are

Anonymous said...

i think woman who give ther children up for adoption are mean and lazy and to lazy to use birthcontrol