As a birth mother, I love hearing when birth mothers are honored. :)I found this article online last year when I was looking for birthmother's day events.
Birth moms honored at Q-C eventBy Dawn Feddersen Sunday, May 14, 2006
When Jane Nichols was a 26-year-old in the early 1970s, she didn’t know anyone who had given a baby up for adoption.
No one knew that she had either.
On Saturday, having finally dealt with the shame and guilt that had plagued her, she sat in a room filled with other birth mothers being honored at the second annual Birth Mother’s Day at the Women’s Choice Center in Bettendorf.
Amber Dopler, of Catholic Charities Diocese of Peoria, Ill., which sponsored the luncheon honoring birth mothers, said she believes that it’s important for birth mothers to connect with other birth mothers.
“It’s a unique experience that most women don’t have to go through. The aftermath of it has long been overlooked. These women will always be affected by the experience,” Dopler said.
She also said that celebrating birth mothers on Mother’s Day is long overdue, especially considering that many mothers would not have a child to honor them on Mother’s Day if it
hadn’t been for a birth mother.
“Birth mothers usually don’t receive recognition on Mother’s Day. For a lot of us, it can be a really emotional time, especially for women who don’t have any other children than the one that was adopted. It’s important to get this kind of recognition,” said Dana Anderson, for whom Mother’s Day will be extra special this year.
Not only will Anderson receive presents and attention from her four children, the 22-year-old daughter she gave up for adoption will be graduating from St. Ambrose University, Davenport.
Anderson was just 17 when she found out that she was pregnant. Through long talks with her parents and counselors, she decided that adoption was the best option for her and the baby she was carrying.
“The most important thing she was thinking about was the child’s future,” said Willadean Heinz, Anderson’s mother. “She wanted that baby to have a mother and a father who were ready and prepared to be parents.”
Though a difficult experience, Anderson was glad she was able to choose the adoptive parents, who sent her many letters and pictures through the years.
Many birth mothers are not so lucky.
Nichols told no one about her pregnancy.
When the baby was born, the doctor knew she was going to be adopted so he wouldn’t let Nichols see her. He even scolded a nurse for telling her that she had had a girl.
After years of secrecy and denial, Nichols was glad to meet other birth mothers who had had similar experiences.
“You know you’re not alone,” she said. “It helps to talk to someone who’s experienced the same thing.”