Hey PAPS you need to hear this and recognize this. The world of international adoption has major issues. Those issues start with you. You can do something about it. Its your money that is making this go crazy. You absolutely must accept your culpability in that. Sure I as an adoptee can tell you what its like to be adopted but I can't tell you what its like to be an international adoptee. But I have a few fellow blogger friends who would be glad to help you with that issue. There is Kev. There is Paula. You can check their links out as well. They will send you onto other international adoptees. Once the adoptees from Guatemala grow up they too will be blogging.
This group is another one that you really need to visit. They give you sound advice from people who have done it before. David and Desiree adopted two children from India. They discovered that their children were stolen from their natural parents. They have since become vocal in the area of adoption reform and corruption. Desiree cowrites Fleas Biting with Usha.
When you decide to adopt internationally you really need to think about the child first. No you are not thinking about the child when you want to rescue them from their home country. You are not thinking about this child and living his entire lifetime. You are placing yourself in a savior mentality. You are setting yourself and this child up for this gratefulness thing. I will tell you this much. ALL adoptees hate that. We don't want the world telling us to be grateful that our parents rescued us from whatever horrible imagined experience. You wanted a child period. I do fully understand the pain of infertility. I fully understand losing a child.
Do not be afraid to ask questions. Your money has power to change things. You can rock the boat. Its time that you do. Don't let your child grow up in darkness about their birth. Don't make them be grateful to you for their existance. They would have done just fine without you. Read this list on AdoptingInternationally. Read other international adoptive parents. You can check my links to the side but here are a few as well. Believe me adoption corruption happens on the domestic side as well. Be very selective in who you deal with. They will promise you the moon just to get your money. Here are a couple of links. Here. Here. Here.
I also want to bring to your attention of couple of articles. The first one is from CNN. One particular comment strikes out at me as someone who is entitled. This Guatemala situation has been brewing for years now. Years. Just because you paid all this money doesn't mean you will be guaranteed a child. Believe me, the governments are considering the children more than you think so. How would you feel if you were searching for your child who had been stolen from you? It happens more than you think. The way governments operate is usually when there is a huge number of complaints. HUGE. It is probably much worse than you think down in Guatemala and in Vietnam. So think hard about this. Would you want to take someone else's child?
Here is the comment.
Her adopted daughter, Carolina, remains in a Guatemalan foster home with three dozen other babies. Darcy worries that keeping Carolina, now 15 months old, in a foster home will harm her early development.
Please stop and think hard about what you are doing to these children. Think about how you are continuing the corruption in adoption. You are contributing to the corruption by continuing this path.