In this post, I talked about how some adoptive parents don't get it. The blogger that I was disgusted with in my opinion was diminishing both the adoptee and the natural parent experience. I still feel that she is. I realize that I am probably starting a blog war with her. Her condescending tone has really ticked me off as a reader and as an adoptee.
I feel that I have several authentic mothers. I have a natural mother who gave me life. I have an adoptive mother who taught me how to live it. I have several natural mothers who have taught me compassion. So which is my authentic mother? I consider all of them as such. I have a step mother that my first adoptive father has long since divorced. She too is an authentic mother to me as well. Is she non real to me?
Authentic mothering is basically a nice term for "real" mother. Don't bullshit me. I call hogwash right here and now. You want to define adoptees who are angry at the system of adoption as having adoptive parents who "weren't whole to begin with." Okay in my mind, you are attacking my adoptive mother. Let me tell you Eve. She has her stuff more together than you ever could. Yes she feels blessed that I came into her life. She is however concerned that it might have been done either illegally, coercively, or unethically. Can you say that about yourself?
The blogger left this comment on that post. So I thought that I would make it a top post.
It must be confusing when an intelligent, multi-dimensional woman writes about adoption. I don't care how many mothers you think you have; I am writing about authentic mothering. A person can have one mother who never acts like a real mother; she can have a birth and adoptive mother who never act like real mothers; she can have had three mothers, only one or two of whom acted out of authentic love, and so on. I think if you had actually read what I wrote, rather than reacting, you'd see that this is exactly what I am saying rather than branding me as one of "those kids of ."
Keep reading, if you have the stomach for it. I think you will admit you're mistaken about me after awhile, but even if you don't, I'll keep writing.
You can keep writing Eve all you want. You are using the bible and your so called intelligence in being dismissive to adoptees, natural parents and even to some adoptive parents. You are not multidimensional but you are multi-dismissive. I don't think adoption and the bible are a good mix. I don't believe that God intended adoption to be as it is practiced here in the United States. When you throw around the bible, you have situations like Sean Paddock happening. I for one am tired of hearing how adoptees and foster children are getting hurt by the so called adoption system. I am tired of hearing people like you dismissing our experiences as invalid.
Sorry I am just not good at being grateful. You need to more research into adoption.