Friday, November 21, 2008


I just don't get it. Why is it okay to dump an infant but not okay to dump an older child? Why is it okay to dump any child? It shouldn't be ever. Period end of question. What are we teaching our children?

Do you know what adoption has done to me? Adoption makes me feel abandoned and useless. That is what adoption has done to me. It makes me feel like I am replaceable. Its not my adoptive mother's or my natural mother's fault. It is how society views adoption, safe haven, and abortion. Then they expect the children of these situations to shut up and be grateful.

Well I am not good at being grateful to the industry that created these situations. Neither are many other adoptees in this country. The natural parents across this country are speaking out as well too. They are no more grateful or happy that they were coerced into this situation than the adoptees were.

Now the adoptive parents are screaming for ethics. When oh when are they going to listen?


Anonymous said...

"It makes me feel like I am replaceable."

Oh god, I totally hear you on this one.

Eve said...

I agree with you that the industry side of adoption practice has got to go. However, as long as we have irresponsible, abusive, mentally ill, or otherwise abandoning parents, adoption will exist. There have always been, and will always be, unwanted and abandoned children. Abandonment is painful.

Adoption should be a service much like feeding, clothing, or housing the poor. Attorneys and agencies making hundreds of thousands of dollars for "fees" should have been outlawed years ago, but as long as the attorneys and agencies have their hands in the till, this will never end.

All adoption is not evil or bad, and regardless of how it makes some people feel, adoption has provided a safe haven for many others. While you're asking "what is so hard to understand?" I wish you'd take a step back and ask why it's so hard for some people suffering from abandonment to understand that not everyone shares the same view. There are many adoptees who don't share your feelings, and they are also in part what continues to support adoption as an institution and even as an industry.

Follow the money. It's nearly always about money if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

I don't get it either, Amy.
I don't get why they don't get it.

Amyadoptee said...

I get what you are saying. Maybe its time that we go back to teaching responsibility in our schools. Its just that adoption, safe haven, and abortion are all about relieving one of their responsibilities. I am talking infants. I understand choice. I understand that its hard decision. When does it stop though? I am a parent. I am responsible for my daughters. I am so frustrated with the entire idea of abandoning a child period.

Anonymous said...

I see part of the problem being the propaganda that there are all these"irresponsible, abusive, mentally ill, or otherwise abandoning parents ,when in truth these folks are a small % of those who lose their children to adoption.That is why "the infant adoption awareness Act needed to be voted in.The intent to to train anyone coming in contact with a pregnant Mom that if she loves her infant, she will make an "adoption plan".The government and The National Council for Adoption would not have needed to bring forth this bill if there was all these "irresponsible, abusive, mentally ill, or otherwise abandoning parents." The public has been brainwashed into believing this is why there is such a huge need for adoption. If the public knew that adoption was about making a living off the bodies and hearts of Mothers and their children they might not be so quick in supporting adoption. In fact it is a marketing ploy along with the advent of open adoption. The brokers will do and promise anything if it means they will stay in business.As long as we have an over 2 billion dollar adoption industry we will continue to see more value in separating infants from their Mothers instead of family preservation.You know"Those forever families"Did I mention how these little catch phases doesn't hurt to "pull at the heart strings "of the masses who are being asked to believe the adoption industry propaganda?

Anonymous said...

I would rather have women abandon their child in a safe place or have an abortion then have careless, immature, cruel women keep and "raise" their children. I think women should be given the power to make that decision and that no one should be able to interfere- offer guidance- yes.

Abortion stops babies from being born into families where they are unwanted. And abortion doesn't "hurt" an unborn child. If anything that child returns to Heaven to live with God until he/she can be born again into a loving home.

Amyadoptee said...

Seriously what do you think safe haven does to a child? Its okay to abandon the infants but not okay to abandon the older children. Safe haven allows for the anonymous dumping of children. We have to start considering children who get caught up in this.

As an adoption reformist, we have to come up with solutions not only on the adoption front but also on the abortion front. I am not against abortions completely. I am against using abortion as a form of birth control. That damages a woman's body just as having too many children can damage a woman's body.

Anonymous said...

I think it's highly unlikely that "careless, immature, cruel women" would be caring, mature or kind enough to bother to their child to a 'safe haven'.

Amyadoptee said...

Amen Kippa

The Improper Adoptee said...

"And abortion doesn't "hurt" an unborn child"
What kind of crack do you smoke? Go watch "The Silent Scream" without being under the influence of mind altering drugs.
"I would rather have women abandon their child in a safe place or have an abortion then have careless, immature, cruel women keep and "raise" their children."
Um, HELLO, abandoning an infant which PREVENTS THE BABY HIS OR HER WHOLE LIFE FROM KNOWING WHO HE OR SHE REALLY IS, THEIR MEDICAL HISTORY, NATIONALITY, BIRTHDATE AND WHO THEY ARE RELATED TOO, WHAT THEIR REAL PARENTS LOOK LIKE because those who formed Safe Havens have Closed Adoption record mentality and only want the baby safe so they can make money off the child by selling him or her to Infertiles, IS CARELESS, CRUEL AND IMMATURE TO THE BABY.
Why are so you cruel, careless and immature you can't SEE that?

Anonymous said...
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