Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Recently I printed several research studies, statistical reports, and legal reports on adoption. The research studies all have one thing in common. Adoptees have a tough time being adopted. This does vary in degrees. Some have it bad and some have it alright. Each of us does struggle with our identity in our own way. I thought that feeling most of us have ~ you know the one. We all feel different from our families. We either look and/or feel different. I know physically that I am different. I have dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. My family has blond hair and blue/hazel/light brown eyes. There are other differences as well. Academically I have very strong math skills where as my sisters have great writing and reading skills. I am catching up. Can you tell? I have for years feel this overwhelming guilt. I still don't know where it comes from. I hear it is a common feeling amongst adoptees. At least I have read it in the psychology journals and books. One common theme with these studies ~ adoptees are more susceptible to psychological maladjustments. These studies also suggest it is the attitudes of society towards adoptees and it is the closed records that are causing this type of problem. Geez ya think!!!!

Our society gives adoptees conflicting messages. We don't have true kinship. Of course not, we are adopted. Our society also conflicts that message with the message that it is not alright to search. I have been faced with two types of questions for the last twenty years of my life. You can't search because you would betray your parents. You were lucky that you were adopted or you were lucky that you weren't aborted. The other side tells and asks why didn't you search. I would have done it. I couldn't handle the curiosity. Every adoptee has the curiosity. It just varies to person to person. It depends also on whether or not they were found.

That feeling of being different also has a name. Yea I didn't know that one myself. Its called Genealogical Bewilderment. There is something called the Adopted Child Syndrome. I will explain more on that one later. I want to research it more.

I am continually amazed that the National Council for Adoption still spreads its lies. It is lies. Its like they haven't updated their information in 50 plus years. Social Workers in this country do believe that adoptees should have their records. Yep I found that on their website. Social workers also know that relinquishment is very very hard on first mothers. They have known this for at least fourty years. The National Council for Adoption represents some of the most powerful adoption agencies in the country. LDS, Bethany, and Gladney are their primary members. I have countless of stories that LDS has swindled women out of their children for years. In fact one of their adoption agencies were banned from doing business in Illinois. That was put out by the Illinois Attorney General's office. I actually printed that press release down.

The NCFA says that only a small number of adoptees ever search. I wonder do they have the statistical information to back up what they say. If that were in fact true, then why does Bastard Nation, Chosen Babies, American Adoption Congress, ALMA and many many other organizations exist? If first parents really didn't care about their children, then why does Concerned United Birthparents and Origins exist? First parents do also participate in some of the forementioned groups as well. They are some of our most outspoken supporters.

Adoptions these days run from $20,000 upwards $100,000 depending on which state and which country. If an agency does a couple hundred adoptions per year, that money adds up. You can ask about medical expenses all you want. They refer these women to the state medicaid office. The attorney might get $5,000 to $10,000 per adoption. He gets a pretty penny as well. Money can be and is a strong motivator for adoption. That is why the government needs to oversee it. Women's rights are being violated just for considering adoption as an option. The adoption agencies and adoption attorneys hound a woman until she is terrorized. Talk about stalking. They are more guilty of it that adoptees are.

With laws as they are written now have become the deterrent for adoption. No mother wants to go years without seeing her child or with not knowing the well being of her child. Oregon has also kept statistical information on adoptees wanting their original birth certificate. 1% of first moms don't want contact. .25% (Yes that does say point two five percent) want to be contacted via confidential intermediary. That little known fact proves that CIs don't work. Most of these parents don't want another social worker around them. They coerced them out of their children years ago. They sure as heck don't want them regulating their relationships with their children. The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute found similiar findings.

The adoption paperwork is a contract signed by two sets of adults. First parents and adoptive parents. It is their contract made about us for us. Adoptees in 45 states are bound by those contracts for their rest of their lives. In many ways, it gives the tainted image of slavery. We are forever bound by a contract that we did not create for ourselves. Non adopted individuals in this country do not have to deal with this very issue. They can get their original birth certificate at age of majority. Most adoptees can never see that let alone have a certified copy of it.

When I argue for adoptees having their original birth certificate, I do not argue from the right to a reunion or the right to medical history. No one has the right to a relationship to another individual. That can be construed as stalking and harassment. No one also has the right to medical history. It is considered private under the privacy laws and HIPPA. Non adopted individuals have contact with their parents. They speak with their parents in order to get that information. Even the Surgeon General of the United States highly suggests speaking with your parents to get that information to hand to the family doctor. If adoptees are allowed the original birth certificates, there might be an exchange of information and there might be a reunion. No other relationship in the country is regulated but yet adoptees and their first families are. Even gays relationships are not even regulated. We have to have government interference in order to even establish a relationship. The state goverments are interferring with an adoptee's right to privacy. They are not allowing us to be free from governmental interference. Someone please explain that to me. Because for the life of me, I do not understand it.


Unknown said...

Oh yes the guilt.

bizaree hunh?

Robin said...

Great post, Amy. I like the way you lined up the myths and problems like bowling pins and then struck them all down with common sense and reality.

I think that our voices are being heard and the entities you mentioned, Gladney, LDS, etc., are starting to fear for their credibility. Just keep posting.