Monday, February 05, 2007


Sorry gang today is one of those days where I really feel like quitting. Believe me I had hell getting to my blog tonite. I can be hell bent and determine. I came so close to deleting this blog in its entirety. I wonder if you realize that if we don't get it together, we will never get these bills passed. Do you realize that they don't take us seriously? Yes I am one of those that is grateful that all Moms are finally standing up. I am grateful that us bastards are finally standing up.

Sometimes I wish some of the Moms that post here in reply to my blog would realize something. I have reason to hate my first mother. It is because of you guys that I stop and think about those feelings. That I do consider where she might have been. It is out of respect that I fight for your rights. It is out of the need for knowledge that I ask for your experiences.

So many times you blame the adopters. Number one I hate that term as much as I am beginning to hate the birth mother term. If I do use birth mother, I try to keep it respectful. Keep in mind I don't always feel that way. I have a few choice words for her. If I ever get the opportunity to actually speak with her, it will only be a fifteen minute call. I will ask only for my father's name. I will also ask that my brothers get told of my existance. That will be it. This woman is not you. She has totally rejected me. I am not worth her time. She does not wish the knowledge of me. To me she gave up her rights. She should not have more than me. I could only pray that she would be like you. For that, I love and respect every single one of you. I respect the women who stand up and want to acknowledge their children. Moms, the adoptive parents aren't your enemy. They love your kids as you do. At least I hope that they would. I do realize that some don't

As far as adoptive parents go, I have had and will continue to have a good set. It ain't been perfect but it is good. I don't even want to think about what might have been. I sure as hell would not be here. I would be probably some little meally mouse thing. If it weren't for my adoptive parents, I sure as hell would not have had this fire and fight. My adoptive parents put it there for me. If it weren't for hanging out with my sisters, I would not have learned about words and the use of them. I am full of fire and brimstone and it is because of them. Adoptive parents do need to learn that first parents are not the enemy. They love your kids as you do.
Sadly, I do know that some first parents don't. I know because I have one of those.

Whether or not you all realize it we need to be a team. We need to be a united front. It is the adoption agency and its industry that hates us, all of us - the first parents, the adoptive parents, and most definitely the adoptees.

When you argue against the adopters, you are arguing against us. When you argue against the birth parents, you argue against us. Adoptees are being stretched and pulled in two opposing directions. You are taking our control over our own lives away from us all over again. We just want to love both sides of you. We are not someone's gift from God. We are not someone's bundle of joy ripped from your arms. We are your children and we just want your love and respect.


Anonymous said...

hence the plane theory
Don't you dare go away. Ever

Anonymous said...

Don't even think about deleting this.

I can find YOU, and I will kick your ass.

Okay, so you would probably kick my ass, but...

It has been a tough haul lately, but look at all you've accomplished. It's not ever going to be perfect but people like you who fight to make it better mean more than anything.

Any news?

Amyadoptee said...

No Addie there is no news. I did find another Coleman mother who is willing to speak with me. So time will tell. I hope that she calls me soon

Anonymous said...

A gazillion dittos to what Wraith and Addie said.

Anonymous said...

Yup, concur with the others...NO deleting, no throwing in the towel!!!

Just keep telling it like it is Amy. Someday, I really do believe records will be open.


Ungrateful Little Bastard said...

Never ever ever delete this.



Anonymous said...

You're right, of course. All 3 parts of the triad are needed, and the adoptees are the ones that should ALWAYS be the focus. ALWAYS. We all need to be reminded of that.

Possum said...

Amy - I've only just found you - please don't leave now............
You are THE strong voice that can make the difference.
Your words are so very very true.
Everyone has to start putting the adoptees FIRST. It's so often been forgotten throughout history - and it has to be the number 1 priority NOW.
They have to stop the bitching - and start thinking about whose lives they are really affecting.
Please don't delete this.
Sending you loads of cuddles - and copious amounts of chocolate if you need it!!!
Big hugs beautiful girl. C. xxx

Anonymous said...

Sometimes the sheer volume of people who leave our (adoptees) feelings out in the cold is too much. But we can't quit Amy because the alternative is unthinkable.

Some day we may actually become the topic of adoption instead of a simple side effect of others main issues. Imagine that!

I'm going to make an assumption based on things I sort of read into this post. If I am off base just laugh at my mistake. ;o)

You do make a difference love. Just because your mother doesn't have the courage to face her own demons doesn't make you not worth it, it just means she is weak. Anybody willing to make excuses for her deplorable behavior does her no favors.

SHE is weak and cowardly YOU are strong and brave.Period.So keep on keepin' on or I will come help Addie.


petunia said...

Amen sister

Can I quote a famous person that had been beaten down?
"Can't we all just get along?"

3rd generation adoption said...


Nice to know you are still kickin' like a mean horse. It takes a kick in the ass for some of these people in adoption and definitely for those in the state legislature to sit up and listen. Please see my latest blog on adoption - The Marketing of Adoption - and don't you ever quit - this united front you speak of has only begun and we need to rally the troops and "Get R Done".