Monday, July 16, 2007


Have you ever had a song in your head? Well last night I had a song that woke me up. I got up at 2:30 a.m. This song was just blaring in my head. It was like the volume was up full blast. I could not turn it down. Thank God I picked up my prescription of Ambien CR today. I am a night owl. Always have been and always will be. In fact my oldest daughter is becoming the same way. Oh the song. It was Kellie Clarkson's Because of you. Her new video is with Reba McIntire. The scene shows an spousal abuse scene. I think that song is more of an adoption song from Hell. By the way another song that is also a killer song is Kelly Pickler's song I Wonder. It brings me to tears. Yep the only thing my mother ever gave me too was my brown eyes.

Here are the words to Because of You. I dedicate both of these songs to my natural mother. Maybe just maybe she is reading this. Maybe she will see that I too hurt. Janice, a natural mom from Suemma Coleman Home for Unwed Mothers put this on her blog. I honestly thought I was one of the few who thought it was an adoption song.

I will not make the same mistakes you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way. to never let it get too far

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side,so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust
Not only me but everyone around me.. Because of you, I am afraid

I loose my way and it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to begin with

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