I finally got the call. My confidential intermediary called me at work on Thursday. My day went downhill from there. I got all the information that was possible in the short time that she and I talked. I thought the phone call was about the non identifying information which she and I were going to do. I don't think either one of us expected to find my birth mother this quick.
I have two brothers who know nothing about me. Her husband was told about me at the beginning of their relationship. I have not been discussed since. I had sent a letter and pictures. She wanted none of it. She wanted no contact at all. She was about to end the phone call but Katrina kept it going somehow. She asked her about my medical information. She tried blowing Katrina off but Katrina gently persisted. I found out that my high cholesterol is inherited. She didn't want to know about my husband or my daughters. She said that she wondered about me and if she would ever get the "call." Then she asked if I got my education. After that she said that she wasn't even going to tell her husband about my wanting contact. She was too afraid that it would destroy her family. At that point, Katrina seemed to remind her about the letter and the photos and that would just sit there and gather dust. She also reminded her that I sent them for her to see. It didn't matter. She wasn't even interested. I do understand that she had the shock of her life. One thing though that keeps coming to mind is that she and I have had fourty years for this to come to pass. If my mother(adoptive) can be grown up about it then for Christ's sake so can she.
Needless to say that I was devastated. I spent that afternoon and evening in tears. She didn't even ask about her grand children. I guess because I didn't complete my education I am nothing. My military history meant nothing. This is just my negative mind thinking in this right now. That was yesterday. After speaking with family and friends, I have calmed down. Probably in a month or so she will make contact. That curiosity will get the best of her. If she has even told her husband, God willing he will be the voice of reason. If he is smart as those boys of his, he will ask her to tell them. Then they will also force the issue. I can hope and pray right. But right now I am just angry. I am not nothing. I have done many things that I, my friends, and family are exceedingly proud of. I will not have that taken from me. So today I will be pissed off.
As God as my witness, I really hate adoption. I am not necessarily pro abortion but adoption today just ticks me off royally. It ticks me off that people who don't even know me control my life. It ticks me off that I am someone's dirty little secret. I understand that this post will tick off my birthmother friends out on the internet. You guys are educated. I just wish that she was. I wish that she would put as much emphasis on me as she did her sons. Adoption should be about helping people. It should be about loving people. It should be about helping children.
Its not though. It is about money and image. Too bad.