Saturday, February 04, 2006


As I read about the new and upcoming laws of both Massachusetts and Maine, I am so amazed at the logic used by groups like National Council for Adoption, Pat Robertson, the Gladney Adoption Center, and even President Bush. These groups equate people who search (adoptees, adoptive families, and birth families) with antiadoptionists and abortionists. Its funny they use the logic that women who have abortions have privacy. They want to place that same policy on birth families. Trust me, if they had the private information on those women who had abortions they would hound those same women to their death about their abortion. They would not be forgiving to those women.

Confidentiality was not a guarantee to most birthmothers. Birth families were never given a copy of this so called "confidentiality agreement" let alone a copy of the adoption paperwork. Open records provide a line of communication between both sets of families. It gives adoptees the right to information but not a right to a relationship. At the same time, I have heard it said "it takes a village to raise a child."

Proper terminology is another hot topic. This is the way that I look at it. My birthmother gave me life and my adoptive mother taught me how to live it. I honestly believe that if my own records were open I believe it would have been very healing to both sides of the family. Maybe my own birthmother would have been allowed to heal instead of the guilty punishment she places upon herself daily. I honestly wish she would stop punishing herself for the transgressions she made when she was younger.

The closed adoption laws treat adoptees like a commodity. They take away a child's rights before that child even becomes an adult. Those same laws apply when that child becomes an adult. Even a dog gets its papers when it is adopted.

I also find it interesting that Gladney, NCFA, MBNA and others state adoptions cost $10,000 to $28,000. I have researched their site and many others which state adoptions cost more than that. The number $50,000 is the usual cost. I also don't think celebrities should be adopting outside this country. I think it needs to be kept inside of this country. We have so many children in our country that are floundering inside the foster care system. The only time that I think an adoption should be closed is when there has been extensive abuse to a child. I have a friend that suffered that. Her birthmother is the one who did it yet she has tried to make contact with my friend repetitively. Most standard adoptions don't follow this situation. It is the rarity not the commonality.

This is all just my opinion. We need to fight the repressive laws that are out there. The only way to do that is to vote out the morons that are in office.


Peter McEwan said...

I agree with what you say: "even dogs get papers" When I was adopted I lost my nationality, name and past.

Marley Greiner said...

This is how Biblical America and the adoption industry keep our records sealed--the constant marriage of adoption and abortion, when in fact, they have little in common. Live baby: Good/ Dead baby: Bad is their mantra. There is never anything in between. Open records are just another tool in their belt in attack on women's reproductive autonomy.