ADOPTION THOUGHTS

I am going to present several thoughts today. I have received several emails over the last several days that I want to mention my thoughts on. The first was about a man suing over his rights not to have to pay child support. God that one is absolutely ghastly. I can only imagine what that child thinks of his father after that child becomes an adult. This man is totally selfish. He believes the woman has the total choice. She can choose adoption, abortion, and raising the child on her own. He says he made it totally clear that he wanted no children. My question to him is why did you have sex then? You know this is a possibility every time you have sex. Get a vasectomy then if you don't want children. Maybe a law should be enacted regulating a man's genatalia. If you don't want children, go have your tubes tied. We all know that kind of law will never be placed in the books. Again I don't hate men just men like these. My husband takes full responsibility over his children. Too bad most men are not like him or many of my male friends and birth father.

Massachusetts has an open records bill on its books. It went through committee full speed ahead. Many expected it to pass without any problems. Well there is one senator that has put it on hold. Check out the results of it on the blog of a fellow triad member: http://bastardette.blogspot.com She usually reports on current open records legislation going on in various states. This particular senator wants to regulate the time frame in which adoptees can receive their OBC. In other words, the only adoptees that can receive their OBCs from the date that the law has been enacted. She must be protecting the one lone "birthmother " who doesn't want contact. They always come up with the one birthmother that should make the receipt of OBCs wrong and illegal.

Another email was about a story where again the father's rights were totally ignored. The birthmother failed to notify the birthfather that there was now a child involved. I honestly believe adoption means total honesty on all parts. There is no regulation at all. In abortion, there are laws that require that parents be told of their child's pregnancy. There are new bills that are requiring a woman to tell the man of her intention to abort the child. Some even go as far as request his permission. In adoption, there is no regulation what so ever, thus allowing the corruption in adoption. There is no real notification of birth fathers. There is no parental consent of a child's pregnancy. Parents as minors have more rights than birthfathers. How are these two items different? It involves the minor no matter what. If a grandparent wants to adopt the baby, they don't even have any rights. As a parent, I want to know if one of my daughters is pregnant. I want her to know that she has the backup of both parents to help her make the decision whatever it should be.

Now we hear that the Catholic Charities in Boston are now backing out of the adoption business. Considering the Catholic Church's position on pedophile priests and gay adoption, is it any wonder that they are getting out of this business? I know my adoption was done through a Catholic Charity group. They do believe that all parties involved in the search/reunion should give their consent. For the most part they do good work with adoption. They do their best to keep it honest. This was even mentioned in the blog, Pam's House Blend. I should mention here in quickness that even Pam's House Blend is going to be writing a post concerning our rights. I have forwarded many emails that I have received from the Concerned United Birthparents to her. She says that she wants to do the story right. I even forwarded the letter that I received from Planned Parenthood to her. So all triad members keep your eyes open on Pam's House Blend. I hope the story will be a good one.

As far as my search goes, I am going back to being slow and methodical on it. Expanding it again and moving slowly in. If you are searching, try using Ancestry.com and other similiar search engines. You can find an amazing amount of information on those sites. I have been also helping others as much as my life will allow.

As adoptees go, I believe in open records after the adopted child becomes an adult. I believe that birthparents and adoptees each owe each other at least one phone call. They owe it to each other to speak to one another. If just to answer each others questions. I believe that we need to regulate adoption. It should not be about the dollar. It should be about the child. We need to become a true family friendly country. That is where our resources need to be. Family should be promoted at all costs. I look at my patients and know that many have suffered greatly at the hands of others who think that they know better than them. We need to find ways to emotionally, mentally, and financially support women and children. Our country needs to quit demonizing, demoralizing, and treating women as the ultimate sinners of our country. I don't want politicians placing their ideologies on me, family, friends, and enemies. We need to allow everyone the room to grow and become valuable members of our society even if we disagree with their ideas. That is what our country was founded on.