Saturday, April 08, 2006


I am hoping that you are surfing the web these days. I am hoping that you are looking for all the big ranches in the state of Texas. If you look closely, you will find the ranch I live on listed probably at the top of that list. All you have to do is call the office. One of the ladies knows how to find me. All you have to do is mention my name and you will find me, your granddaughters and your son-in-law. I am hoping that you are at least visiting a couple of the birthmother blogs. Hey those ladies are my friends and they write good don't they. Does anything that they say reach you? I am wondering that question. God I hope you are beginning to get curious. Curiosity is a good thing. There is so much that I want to tell you. I know that you were told that I was in the military. I was in the U. S. Army as a medical laboratory specialist. Did you know that I also delivered the mail for the U. S. Postal Service? I also helped SWTSU move its books from the old library to the new one. No I didn't complete my education but I wish that I did. When I go back to school, I think I will major in Sociology. The reason is because I want to change adoption laws. I want there to be so much more honesty and truth in the adoption system. I want it to be about the children and not about profit.

Why now after fourty years have passed? I wasn't ready for you yet. I was honestly hoping that you would be ready for me by now. The reason why I took so long to actually begin searching is because my life was too full of things to do and see. I sometimes really hate having to look at myself and change things that I need to change. I think maybe I might get that from you. I do know that I have the drive that your dad had. I do have the family trait of loving and understanding mathematics. I also do have the cholesterol trait that you and your Mom has. I also need to wear glasses or contacts in order to be able to see distances. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I do think that I get my love for Texas from my father though. Its funny my husband is built like dear old dad. Both of your granddaughters have your name or at least the one that you used at Coleman in their names. Here I was thinking it was due to someone else. Now I really wonder. I did go to Germany and Saudi Arabia when I was with the Army. I am a Desert Storm Vet. So who else shares our birthday month? I wonder if your mother, brothers, and sister ever think about me. Have you at least told your mother that I made contact with you and you refused? Here is your one chance to expose the family secrets. You can't even let curiousity get to you. You are the moth and I am the flame but are we necessarily bad for each other? I think we need each other to complete each other at times. Did you know that my mother wants to thank you? Did you know that I have honored, cherished and respected you for all these years? Its seems that you don't have it for me or was it just a defense mechanism? So many questions. I hope that I get answers for them soon.

I watched North Country here recently. A father was thoroughly disgusted by his daughter in the movie. Her mother made the comment that all his daughter did was have a baby. The religious wingnuts and conservatives would like to go back to that kind of thinking that is a horrible thing to do. Not any longer. I don't think the people of this country would allow that to happen. So you had an affair with a married man. Whooptidoodah!!!!!! Does that make you a slut? Naw not in my or many other friends books. Heck information like that is now lame. Not even worth really gossiping about. Did you know that I have spoken to many a woman your age in Indiana looking for you? Indiana has got some really cool and sweet women your age up there. Did you know that I have two friends that were also adopted through the Coleman agency? Both are really fantastic ladies. This search has made me almost lose my sanity. I will find you. It is just a matter of time.

So much to say and yet so unsure of what to say. Until later


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