Http://www.stupidstuffithink.blogspot.com/ is our delightful Petunia. She is the consumate happy ass adoptee. On the laws issue, she does somewhat agree with many of us "anti-adoption folks which yes I am a member. She has said some pretty harsh words about a couple of dear friends.
Although I come across as anti-adoption, I am not truly because sadly our society does have a use for it. I do agree that when we need to diminsh abortion numbers but its not a good idea to do so through adoption. Educating our young men and women on the joys and perils of sex is one way. Holding men accountable for their contributions in sex is another. Promoting ways on keeping a child instead of having that baby sold to the highest bidder. Get rid of the tax credit on adoption and lower the cost of adoption. If an adoption agency asks a young mother to use medicaid, then the adoption agency must pay the state back. Regulate the adoption industry. Stop them from being coercive to young mothers and their children. Force prospective adoptive parents to consider parenting a foster child. Make adoptive parents take learning classes on being more receptive to an adoptee's feelings. Allow adoptees access to their own records whatever the contact preference is. We need our own medical and geneological history. It is best if it is a discussion between us and our parents. A Confidential Intermediary is not the best equipped to get all the questions answered.
Although I love my adoptive parents passionately, they have ignored the part that my natural mother has contributed in me. They have forced me in many ways to ignore my own emotions concerning adoption. I have done enough research from reputable people to know that the NCFA does not have a clue as to what adoptees and their families go through living adoption.
Do I have angry emotions about adoption? Yes I do. Especially when I am facing major surgery within the next month for something that I unknowingly passed onto my daughters. All because one woman is scared of the past haunting her. Is it fair that my own parents seem to ignore the fact that I do have feelings about it? That it hurts that she rejected me not only once but twice because she is afraid. I am tougher than most people. Most people could not handle that. It is totally infuriating that people can't see the truth that I and many others like me are living. Trying to prove that adoption is a happy happy joy joy thing is pointless. All you are doing is keeping the records further sealed. Sorry Joy no pun intended.
Only in adoption are those living adoption considered incompetent by reason of adoption. I mean all even our delightful Ms. Petunia are considered this. Can adoption be good? Yes it can. Can you as adoptive parents live with yourselves if you took someone else's child without full consent of both parents? Can you not living adoption truly give a child up for adoption? I can't. I would not want to or be forced into that.
Yes my emotions are powerful and sometimes overwelming but this blog and all my writing helps me channel it into a better constructive venue.