CAN YOU SWALLOW THIS?

I found this last night researching something. I sat here just appalled reading this letter. As I looked around further, there were more. If you have a puke bucket, draw it close. The logic of these letters blows the mind. They do not make sense.

This is wrong on so many levels. These letters are making it seem like they are out to protect these mothers. They want adoption to continue in its happy yappy dance. They do not want folks real live folks to realize that what they are spewing is lies, smoke and mirrors.

Subject: Callous Disregard from Jane Doe #7

This is a letter from Jane Doe #7, anonymous birth mother plaintiff in the lawsuit against Oregon's Measure 58. It was filed along with her affidavit in the Plaintiff's Motion for Summary Judgment filed in May 1999.

Callous Disregard

I recall the very instant I made the decision that I would give the child I was carrying up for adoption. I remember this crystal clearly as if it were yesterday-despite the fact that it occurred some thirty odd years ago. I was young, unmarried and after weeks of turmoil and distress, it came suddenly down to something very simple and fundamental-what was best for the child? Discounting my preferences, wishes, desires, did I have all the necessary resources to give this child what he or she needed to have the best possible start in this world? If no, then how about a fair start? The fact of the matter was that the answer to both of these questions was, 'No."

My story isn't unique. There were thousands of us then as there are now- engaging in sexual activities and making serious mistakes by, depending on how you look at it, either first being sexually active at all without the benefit of marriage, or at least by not using reliable methods of contraception. We were young, sometimes irresponsible and considered pretty much 'bad" by society in general back then. Boys/men weren't held to the same level of responsibility-they were just responding to their hormones. But it was different for girls/women-it was our job to remain "pristine;" keeping both genders' hormones in check. If we didn't well then, we just kind of deserved what we got.

When a pregnancy occurred, some women got married and lived happily ever after, maybe. Some got married too early to the wrong men, only later to find themselves left with at least one child and no real way to support themselves or the child. Some didn't get married, keeping the child, and dooming themselves and not only this child but all their children to a life of poverty. That's been statistically proven time and time again.

Some young women responded by getting illegal abortions. Some worked the angle getting a legal abortion by "convincing" a psychiatrist their emotional well-being was seriously compromised by the pregnancy. If one had the necessary funds and sought an evaluation by a sympathetic mental health professional, one could easily access a gynecologist who would perform the necessary procedure "to maintain psychological health."

Some chose to give their child up for adoption. It wasn't an easy choice. It's hard to carry a child for nine months, give birth, hear the first few cries, then silence as the child is whisked off the arms of the waiting adoptive parents there are no words to describe just how hard that was.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself here... Once the decision was made, based on the welfare of the child as the paramount factor, I researched who might be able to help me with this very difficult choice. I found an obstetrician who said he could arrange a private adoption where the suitability of the potential parents would be assured. He could refer me to an attorney, who would ensure the process was "legal." Expenses would be paid by the adopting family. I saw the referral attorney to discuss the possibility. He assured me that the state would carefully evaluate any adopting family. He advised me of the adoption process - the birth certificate of the child would be sealed and a new birth record would be issued to the child and the adopting family. The original record of the birth parents would be sealed and could never be opened. In fact, I should ensure that my decision was carefully made because it would be final, once I signed the papers giving my child up for adoption I would not be able to find the child and would never be able to reclaim the child as my own. The rights of the adopting family were ironclad. This was to ensure the welfare of the child, the deal was final.

The ensuing months were very difficult. I was miserable dealing with the ambiguities of the decision I was making. I kept reminding myself that the most important issue was the welfare of the child-not my own. Finally the time came and in total despair, I signed those papers-I couldn't see what I was doing because of the tears. The attorney told me to forget this pregnancy ... this child. With the documents he had created, I would never see this child again. I shouldn't even try. He told me to forget 'what happened" and go out and make another life for myself. He just didn't tell me. . . how..

One doesn't create a new life for themselves after giving a child up for adoption without leaving a few critical things about their past out when they develop new relationships. Life goes on. One never, ever..forgets. But one doesn't disclose or discuss it.

Although there isn't anything I wouldn't do change the circumstances of the birth of my first child, reflecting back, I really think I did the right things after I became pregnant, I took responsibility for my actions. I put the welfare the child before that of anyone else-including myself. I didn't share my personal circumstance with anyone other than the one individual with a right to know - the father. I didn't default on my education loans and become a welfare mom relying on society for financial support. I abided by the legal options that were open to me. I signed the adoption papers knowing full well that I could never attempt to impinge on the rights of the adopting parents nor interfere with the private life of the child. I was told the records would be sealed and no one would be able to gain access to the birth record - not even me. I began living my life relying what had been told from the attorney and physician based on Oregon law.

I'm living a life that includes family, friends and professional associates where this child exists only in my heart. I've pondered utilizing existing processes to put my name out there so this child could contact me if he/she wanted, Before it would be fair to anyone involved, should this child even be interested in a meeting, there would be a lot of preparation for the child, their family and my family that would be required before the chances of a positive result could materialize. Any meeting would need to be carefully orchestrated. I would never consider trying to find this child and meet with anyone in their family without his/her consent.

Now, the voting public has determined that the record of this child as well as all other adoptees should be open and accessible by simply a unilateral request of the adoptee. The majority of Oregonians feel that adoptees have the right to default retroactively on rules that applied when their birth parents made the decisions to give them up for adoption. I'm not so sure why they feel this is such a good idea. Is it because they had no opportunity to hear from birth parents as to how this actually might affect lives of the involved parties? How could we, as birth parents, possibly unite and/or speak out telling anyone of our concerns? Our life has been one of secrecy-to openly discuss, educate or petition against the passage of this bill would have been to publicly acknowledge that which we have kept private-that which I was told to forget because I would never be able to change. And why, at this time, is it appropriate to open these birth records without even consulting the birth parents? What have I done so that I should not even be given the opportunity to have a say about whether information about me is going to be released, particularly in light of the fact I was told the information would never be releasable even to me? Now, the child may have access, but I may not? How is it possible that the "majority of Oregonians," who have never been in my shoes, can change the terms of an agreement I entered into over thirty years ago? Was that agreement only for the benefit of the adopting family? Was anyone in this legal agreement representing me or my interests? Is my life as a birth parent, so inconsequential in comparison to that of the adoptee that I should have absolutely no say nor any notification when or how this information may be released?

Does the Oregon public and furthermore, do adoptees think that walking into the unprepared and/or unwilling family of birth parents is going to automatically result in acceptance and happiness? Specifically, how is acceptance and happiness to result when the birth parent will not know if, how, nor when this might happen? No provision for preparation of the birth parent or family has been included or ensured. What is going to happen to the adoptee psychologically when they are not necessarily met with open arms? How about when they're met with shock, denial, hostility or rejection? What about birth mothers who live in situations of domestic violence? What's going to happen if a partner, prone to verbally or physically abusive conduct, finds out "his woman" committed sins of the flesh and gave birth and adopted out a child regardless of how long ago or under what conditions it might have happened?

A proposed reasoning for the access of the birth parent is for medical reasons. There may be a legitimate need for the a person to contact a birth parent; however this would not require the release of all birth records by a unilateral request of all the adopted children in the State of Oregon. Other mechanisms could be instituted to provide for first accessing the birth parent, informing them of the need and requesting their cooperation.

There is no doubt that adoptees and birth parents often decide to meet after the adoptee becomes an adult and develop enriched relationships that are positive and constructive. These relationships begin with a foundation of mutual willingness and are fostered by dialogue that is entered into by two or more parties who want to proceed. Reuniting under these circumstances makes sense. Opportunities for these mutually agreeable meetings should be encouraged.

However, to proceed with a change in Oregon law allowing adoptees free access to previously sealed birth records so that they may contact unprepared and/or unwilling birth parents is just plain wrong. It won't help adoptees access the information regarding their birth which they may be seeking. It will do nothing to foster a positive relationship with birth parents or extended families-in fact, it will do just the opposite. It is in direct conflict to agreements made between the birth parents, adopting parents and the State of Oregon over the last forty years creating unfairness to the birth parents with the potential for devastating effects on all party's lives.

I was told my decision was final-I could under no circumstances change it. I was promised the records were going to remain sealed from everyone, including me. I lived by the rules of the agreement I made never attempting to open the birth records nor interfere with the adoptive parents or the child. I was told to forget what happened and build a new life. I took responsibility for my personal actions, I put the welfare of the innocent child before my own. I became a productive tax-paying member of society not relying on the public to raise my child. Why now, should the circumstances of the agreement I made over thirty year ago change? Why should this record be released in any manner without my consent?

This author acts like she is the possessor of the original birth certificate. Does she really think that document belongs only to her? Parents are not the owners of the original birth certificate. It belongs to the person whose birth it records. In every state, the law states that the non adopted get immediate access to that birth certificate. Yes it belongs also in a way to a parent but only if the child is a minor. The adoptee doesn't get the medical files of the natural parents. The adoptee doesn't even get a copy of the adoption finalization. They get a copy of their original birth certificate.

Since this woman seems to have voluntarily relinquished her rights, she doesn't get new rights in the process. She has lost them including her right to privacy in regards to the adoption of her child. There is also the issue of free association. A mother can say no contact. That is fine but however, they should tell their adoptee that to their face. It is the right thing to do.

WARNING: RAW!

Today I have just been cranky. Just point blank cranky. Every little thing today irritated me. I called one of my sisters today on the way home from town. I went in to get a few groceries so we can Mexican tomorrow night with Pizza tonight.

I admit it that I was pissed about the typical bullshit about adoptee rights. All that "birthmother" privacy crap. All that "Gloom and Doom" that comes along when a state finally does the right thing. Oregon, Alabama and New Hampshire all had these types of articles. In fact, I am currently reading a novel by Tess Gerritsen. The coroner in the book is Maura Isles who just happens to be adopted. Her twin sister was just killed in front of her house. This book is not a good addition right now for me. I am already angry. The character is walking through her life numb.

Back to that phone call. I asked her if she had heard from our first father lately. He usually sends a card but this year we had not gotten one. Its been a long while since I have spoken with him. He is honestly out there. If you met him, you would know what I am talking about. He is a superintellectual that has no basis in common sense. He is not emotionally involved with our lives. My sister made this comment. That door was slammed when we were born. This of course upsets my mother who has fought hard to make sure that all of us feel loved.

My adoptive parents got divorced when I was five to six. After the divorce, he remarried another woman and then adopted her daughter, Amy. Yes there were two Amys with the same last name. I was taught from a young age that I was expendible. It is bad enough that I remember the sirens from when the ambulance carted my natural mother to the hospital. Yes it does happen. Babies are not born with clean slates. We do remember our mothers.

My uselessness was further sealed by my second adoptive father. I do not even want to think about this as a possibility. I will however wonder. I am adopted. Because I was boy crazy, I was labeled a slut from the age of thirteen to twenty four by a man who I called Dad. Long before I became one for about six months. Then I decided it wasn't all that fun. You know what lingers in my mind? I will always wonder if this is where he got it from. This meaning the many myths about natural mothers. Did my second adoptive father think I was a slut because that was what the stupid horrendous attitudes towards the mothers of the past? Heck the like mother like daughter thing.

So you can see I have some really negative tapes in my brain. Tapes that are sometimes hell to fight. Adoption teaches adoptees that they can be discarded. Then you add human attitudes. Fathers who change wives and children like a pair socks. Fathers who possibly think that an adopted child is a bad seed just like her natural mother. I have spent much of my life fighting negative thoughts of my fathers. I have spent my life pleasing every one else around me. Then when I get around to searching, I have to deal with her fears, her shame, and her guilt. What really sucks is knowing that I had a father who wanted me but I got two fathers who would have rather gotten rid of me.

I get so fucking sick and tired of the fears of others. Which leads me to my next post.

WHY ARE NATURAL PARENTS SO SCARY?

I am trying to understand why prospective adoptive parents want to go the international route. I do understand wanting a child. I do not condemn adoptive parents for this issue. Some PAPs are very frustrated with the foster care system in the United States. That is understandable. It is bad system that doesn't even protect the kids.

There were five listed on this site that I visited when I asked Google to search this question for me. The author of this blog posted these responses and I am quoting her post on this:

• In domestic adoptions, a percentage of birth parents change their mind at the last minute and decide to parent. They don’t want to take that risk.
• When parents adopt internationally, as soon as they receive their “referral” or are “matched” with a child, they become emotionally attached to that child. They know that that same emotional attachment would occur if they were to meet a birth parent(s) in a domestic adoption. International adoption guarantees more of a “sure thing” than does domestic adoption.
• They fear that in a domestic adoption, a birth parent(s) might show up years down the line and demand their child back.
• During the domestic adoption process, parents wishing to adopt write a “Dear Birth parent” letter which pits them in “competition” against other potential adoptive parents. They don’t have to join the “my family’s better than yours” competition.
• There are millions of children, already born, who need families. Granted, there are hundreds of thousands of children in the U.S. waiting for families. But the U.S. system doesn’t feel “trustworthy” in providing “safe transitions” from foster care to permanent homes.
• It’s difficult to find a child who is “legally free” for adoption via the U.S. system.
• They want to travel to adopt a child, and traveling overseas is an ideal way to see more of the world, become acquainted with their child’s country of origin and to bring home a child.

Most of these I do understand. The competition thing can feel nasty. Fighting the foster care system is a pain and untrustworthy. However I am stumped at the mother thing. I wonder how many of these parents really think about what they are doing. You would not be a parent if it were not for these relinquishing mothers. It doesn't matter which part of the world that you are in. I am uncomfortable with the realization that I am someone's property. As an adoptee, I do not feel free as an American citizen. Adoption does that to adoptee. We often feel like chattel for our parents.

I am a parent now. I do not look at my daughters as property. They are God's gift to me. They are not my possessions. With those sentiments being state above, it appears that PAPs want to be saviors and owners. I have spoken with several adoptive parents. Many of whom get the bigger picture now. I see adoption as it is currently practiced as hurting more than helping children. This is for international adoption and domestic infant adoption. I am not including foster care into this equation. Those are the children that need help and need families but I do understand that the foster care system does not make it easy.

In adoption, it seems to be that no one thinks beyond what they need or want. That defines what entitlement is in adoption. The best interests of the child is to have his/her information to do with as they see fit upon adulthood. In fact, I think its because of this issue that we are having so many problems with adoption today.

This is going to be hard to swallow but there is no other way to say it. Because of adoptive parent fears, records are sealed. Because of these fears, adoption has been shrouded in secrecy and lies. Because of that, adoption corruption has been allowed to grow into monstrous and disastrous proportions.

The myth of "birthmother" privacy has been allowed to get out of control. Its ironic now because the mothers of the past do not want anyone speaking for them but themselves. Yet the adoption industry continues with this fallacy. The adoption industry also continues to push these "birthmother" fears with the adoptive parents. They let them persevere.

Because of their actions, adoptees and their families are treated like we can not be competent enough to handle our affairs. It is everyone else's fears that control this. It is ridiculous. I can not comprehend this stupidity.

A COOL FRAME

This has got to be one of the coolest digital photo frames in the world. I mean cool. You can hook up this digital photo frame to a phone line and get current pictures sent straight to this digital photo frame. I would like to give this kind of digital photoframe to my mother. She would absolutely love it. She would wake up to her granddaughters every day. She is always complaining that we do not make it to central Texas on a regular basis. It is just too expensive to travel that far. I do not make that much money to be able to do so. I make enough to supplement my husband's income. It offsets the grocery bills and the homeschooling bills.

You can connect these frames to an existing phone line. You can then send pictures from your computer to the Cieva digital photo frame. This frame automatically updates the pictures for you. You can also send pictures by email to the Cieva digital photo frame using either your computer, camara, or your cell phone. It is all that simple. They have many different styles to suit your fancy. Shoot they are not that expensive either. I saw a couple of digital picture frames at Sam's just the other day. They were well over 200 bucks. I am pretty sure that they were not near as cool or techno saavvy as these are. So check out Cieva and their awesome picture frames.

Digital Photo Frame

THEY JUST DO NOT WORK

Abstinence only pledges do not work. Personally I know that they don't. When I was in high school, I made one. I did it to get even with my step father. He was under the impression that I would get pregnant before I got out of high school because I liked the boys. Yep I was boy crazy when I was younger. I managed not to have sex. It wasn't the pledge that prevented me. I was just too scared to approach one particular fellow until I graduated from high school. If we had dated longer, he would have been my first at that particular time.

I am also very lucky in that my adoptive mother was very open and honest about sex. She explained the processes of sex. I was also taught sex education in the schools several times.

When I got to college, it was a whole different ball game. You look at life differently. My mother and I made this pledge to each other. If I decided that I wanted to have sex, I was to tell her and she would help with birth control. That is exactly what happened. I had my exam in January. My first sexual experience was much later that year.

This article came out in the last couple of days. I like this one because the author approaches this in snarky manner. People need to realize that our kids need education. Sex education and parental responsibility. There is absolutely no reason why we should not be teaching these in the schools.

Here is his version of the study recently released.
href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/28/AR2008122801588.html?hpid=topnews">Big scientific news today, and unlike some studies, which just tend to confirm things we already know, this study has a surprising result. A large federal study conducted by a Johns Hopkins researcher and published in Pediatrics shows that, yes, indeed, those premarital abstinence pledges some teenagers take do have an impact on their behavior.

Do they abstain from sex more than their pledge-less peers? No, of course not.
Do they abstain from certain kinds of sexual activity, then? Nope.
Oh, do they only have sex with fewer partners? Nope.
Um ... do they wait longer to have sex? Nope.
Um ... then what is the effect?

Well, there seems to be one area where they are different from their peers: They are more likely to have unprotected sex. That's right, the one thing we know to be different about teenagers who pledge not to have sex at all is that only 1 in 4 of them use condoms, compared to a still-dismal 1 in 3 among teenagers who are not pressured into taking such silly pledges.

Teens who take these pledges are more likely to have been educated in abstinence-only programs. They are taught in programs that promote unrealistic promises over realistic tools and options that are proven to save lives.

Perhaps now we can move beyond the notion that abstinence rings and pledges are anything more than a way for teenagers to adverrtise their own false sense of superiority over their peers.

HAVE YOUR COMPUTER WRITE FOR YOU

What would you do with the extra time if you could have your computer really work for you? Most people type about forty words a minute. I know personally that I type about sixty words per minute. According to Dragon Naturally Speaking, most people speak about 120 words per minute. What would you do if you could speak to your computer and your computer did all the typing for you? How much time do you think that you would save? I bet quite a lot. You would become more efficient at your job. You would be able to edit your work faster because you had more time.




Currently Dragon Naturally Speaking is offering various discounts on their software. Today however is the last day for those specials. Today is also the last day for tax related savings. If you own a business where this could help you, you could write this off on your tax return.

These are the coupon codes currently being offered with their software:


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So if you want to speed up your typing time with your speaking time, check out Dragon Natually Speaking.

WHAT DOES ADOPTION CONTRIBUTE IN THIS ARTICLE?

This article is about an aircraft crash. That is all its about. They still have not figured out what happened nearly a year later. So what does adoption have to do with it? Why point out that her children were adopted? It has nothing to do with the crash. The pilot's two main joys in her life were flying and her "adopted" children. I wonder if this individual is rolling in her grave right now. Oh Vey what a stupid article.

Here is the article and the link.

WEST GARDINER -- Nearly a year after a wealthy technology tycoon and her 10-year-old son lost their lives in a fiery plane crash, federal investigators are still trying to pinpoint the cause of the accident.

Jeanette Symons, a 45 year-old business mogul and recreational pilot, died Feb. 1 after her Cessna Citation C-525 jet went down in West Gardiner. Her son, Balan, 10, also perished.

It is not uncommon for final crash reports to be released six months to a year after the event, said Jose Obregon, an investigator for the National Transportation Safety Board in Miami.

"We're still investigating the cause, and that final report will probably be released closer to the anniversary (of the crash)," Obregon said. "Everything will be addressed at that time."

Symons had two big passions in life, colleagues said: Her adopted children and flying planes.

Symons was considered a seasoned pilot. Friends and colleagues said she had 15 to 20 years of flying experience, and the Federal Aviation Administration indicated she was qualified to fly single- and multiple-engine aircrafts and could use instrument flight rules -- where a pilot relies on instruments to fly the aircraft instead of using vision.

Mother and son had spent a few days at Sugarloaf so Balan could attend a ski camp. The two planned to depart Maine from the Augusta State Airport on Feb. 1.

Although the plane was originally kept inside a hangar, Maine Instrument Flight officials said they made it clear to Symons the hangar was reserved for Colgan Air aircraft, a commercial airline, and that -- if one of those planes landed in Augusta -- her jet could be taken out of the hangar. It was.

The National Transportation Safety Board's preliminary report revealed Symons had a bumpy takeoff from Augusta in freezing rain.

Maine Instrument Flight officials said Symons declined help de-icing the Cessna.

After starting the jet, the preliminary report said, Symons neglected to turn on the airport's field lights -- standard procedure for a pilot taking off from an airport without an air-traffic-control tower.

She then started taxiing down the wrong runway and ran the plane through a ditch.

Shortly after takeoff, air-traffic control in Portland reported receiving a distress call from Symons, saying she had an on-board emergency involving one of the plane's three "attitude indicators."

Tim Donovan, a longtime friend and business associate of Symons, said the day after the crash that Symons was not one to take risks when it came to her children and flying.

"She wouldn't have left if she didn't think she could take off safely," Donovan said at the time. "Jeanette probably logged more hours than a commercial pilot."

Symons was well-known and respected by peers and competitors in the world of technology.

Her first endeavor, Ascent Communications Inc., was launched in 1989. Ten years later, the company, now with thousands of employees, sold itself to Lucent Technologies for $24 billion. Symons was not yet 40 years old at the time.

In 2001, Forbes Magazine named her the wealthiest woman in the United States younger than 40, with a personal worth of $347 million, exceeding actor Tom Cruise and pro golfer Tiger Woods.

Symons continued to develop technology and communications companies, including Zhone Technologies and Industrious Kid, the business she owned at the time of her death that focuses on integrating children into the technological world.

"She was ... a fabulous, hands-on mother," Donovan said the day after the deaths. "To hear of this accident is just devastating."

Donovan could not be reached for this article.

Symons' other adopted child, Jennie, is now 8 and is being raised by family members.

Meghan V. Malloy -- 623-3811,

ext. 431

mmalloy@centralmaine.com

SEEING THE WORLD AS IT IS

I have to wear glasses or contacts. Just a visit to the optometrist is a 100 dollar plus cost. Glasses at the various places in town is a huge expense. Personally I have gone back to wearing glasses because I can take them off when I am reading, researching or doing craft work. I can not see my work with them on. Yes I know that I need bifocals but that is an expense that I just can not afford these days. It is easier to just lift my hands to my face to remove those glasses. Next year though I fully expect my doctor to put his foot down with me.

I enjoy writing about Zenni Optical. They are a company that makes their own eyeglasses. They pass those savings on to you, the consumer. Their frames come in many different styles and frames. You have huge choice to choose from. They are all extremely reasonable in their costs. If you enjoy being in the Holiday mood, they even have frames with the Christmas spirit in mind. They even have eye glass frames for the bifocal, single vision, progressive, and even photochromic vision. They also have some great shades. So check out Zenni Optical and get the glasses that you want and need.

Holiday frames

ACLU FILES LAWSUIT OVER ARKANSAS LAW

The ACLU is filing a lawsuit over the new law that voters enacted with the recent election. I think this law is wrong and based on flawed information. The ACLU however does tick me off when they will fight for others but not adoptees. Part of it is that many of their members and even former members have gone into the business of adoption. So they believe the "birthmother" hype. That is really irritating because those original birth certificates belong to the people whose birth they record. That is the way it is in the non adopted sector. It should not be any different for the adoptee. Its ridiculous. Bad thing is that we have to prove that it doesn't cause more abortions or reduce adoptions. We also have to prove that the relinquishing mothers support our cause.

Here is the link and story.

ITTLE ROCK, Ark. - More than a dozen families filed a lawsuit yesterday challenging a new Arkansas law that bans unmarried couples that live together from becoming foster or adoptive parents.

The Arkansas chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union filed the lawsuit in Pulaski County Circuit Court seeking to overturn Act 1, which was approved by voters in the general election.

"Act 1 violates the state's legal duty to place the best interest of children above all else," said Marie-Bernarde Miller, a Little Rock attorney, in the lawsuit.

The families contend that the act's language was misleading to voters and that it violates their constitutional rights.

The Arkansas Family Council, a group that campaigned for the ban, said the law was aimed at gay couples but will affect heterosexuals and homosexuals equally.

SUMMERTIME SKIING LESSONS

I have only been skiing once. I went up to Ski Apache with my sister and her boyfriend. My boyfriend at the time took us all there. I had more fun falling down than I can shake a stick at. I could not stay up on pair of skis for the life of me. The next day my body was so sore that there wasn't enough hot water in El Paso to take that muscle ache away. You have to understand something about me though. I was raised in South Texas. We saw snow once every twenty years. It only amounted to an inch on the ground. So I wish that I had been exposed to some kind of ski camp or lessons.

Now is time to start thinking ahead with various activities for your children. Are you and your family avid skiers? If you are there is a ski camp in Oregon's Mount Hood that teaches your entire family how to ski. They provide various skiing and safety lesson plans. They also have summer camps for various mastery levels.

So if you want to provide your family with a different kind of summer camp, check out the Oregon Summer Camp at National Alpine Ski Camp. You will be in for the ride of your life.

summer camp

DON'T YA JUST LOVE THE GLOOM AND DOOM?

This letter to the editor of a Portland Newspaper really ticked me off. It is the typical gloom and doom of the adoption agency or NCFA crone. All I can say is give me a damn break here. There was never a promise of confidentiality or permanent privacy. It sure wasn't contractual. It was usually forced upon these mothers. Many of which were threatened with criminal action if they ever searched. They do not want us talking to each other because we might find out the truth.

Here is the story and the link:

A door that has protected people's privacy will spring open this week, and whoever walks through it should do so with care.

Original birth certificates that have been denied to people who were adopted as infants will become available as a result of a law passed by the Legislature that goes into effect Friday.

People who have grown into adulthood without knowing the names of their biological parents will have that information for the first time.

Birth parents, who were promised anonymity when they gave children up for adoption, will no longer have their privacy protected. While the new law does allow them to say if they don't want to be contacted, whether that wish is honored will ultimately be out of their hands.

The Legislature was presented with a true dilemma that left little room for compromise. The law's attempts to provide some privacy to the birth parents still falls far short of what they had been promised.

Critics have charged that breaking the promise of confidentiality now could push vulnerable pregnant women away from adoption in the future, leading more of them toward the anonymous choice of abortion. In the end, the Legislature responded to the powerful arguments of the adoptees and came down on the side of the now-adult children at the expense of their birth parents.

But it is unlikely that the lawmakers heard much from the people who desperately want to keep their past lives a secret, since they would not have exposed themselves in a public forum.

It will be up to the children, many of whom are now older than their birth parents were when they signed the papers, to decide if they are going to access the records and what they will do with the information if they get it.

For people who have fought so long to learn their birth parents' identities, the names alone may not be enough. The need to know more about them will be hard to resist.

But in their zeal to learn more about their birth families, they should respect the privacy of those who do not want to be found.

Agencies should track whether this law does indeed affect the decisions of women with unwanted pregnancies who are considering adoption. And everyone involved should approach this new door with caution.

Copyright 2008 by The Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram. All rights reserved.

AMARILLO BY MORNING

We finally went out of town this last weekend. We do not go anywhere much these days. Finances are tight. We have to watch every little dime that we spend. Things fell into place for us where we could go somewhere.

I finally accomplished many of the things that I wanted to without having the pressures of homeschool and blogging. I was able to do some heavy research for a project that I am working on. I got some good commentary as well.

It has been close to ten years since we were last up in the Panhandle. I wish I had grabbed a friend's phone number as she is a fellow Indiana adoptee. I did not have time to get her information. We lived in Stinnett. Its funny. One of our friend's sons lives in that area. I got to see the Cal Farley's Boys Ranch which is one of the sponsors of the craft portion of the rodeo. It is a really nice place. I was impressed. It is literally out in the middle of nowhere. The Canadian River runs just south of it. We went skeet shooting up there. Both of my daughters learned to shoot a small .22 rifle. I also shot a .20 gauge shotgun. I am not impressed because it jerked my shoulder around quite a bit. It just took once. My husband love it though. I helped one person load their shotgun. She shot pretty good. I was impressed with her shooting. No we did not shoot any animals just skeet.

We ended up bringing home their dapple doxen. He is just plain adorable. We will have to get him neutered. He is very well house trained. Now my kitten Vince says that he just don't like him. He tried to tell me that we can not afford another dog. He also did not like my hair cut. I trimmed seven inches off my head of hair. He liked nursing in my pony tail. Now there is no pony tail. It was the best thing that I ever did for myself. I thank my hair stylist, Sue. She cut it just right and to the shoulder length that I wanted.

So now that Christmas is over, it is time to get back to work.

LAST MINUTE GIFTS

Isn't it funny? Sometimes we are still spending money on last minute gifts from Kmart
for people that we have forgotten. It is one of those situations where you are going to a New Year's party but you want to give the hostess a last minute gifts from Kmart. It is polite manners and all that good stuff as Miss Manners states. What about those family gatherings that happen after Christmas? We do those all the time. You have to scramble to find the right gift for the right person.

Well you do not have a lot of money. These tough financial times are hurting even the small guy. If anything, it has hit us harder than many others. Here is KMART to the rescue. They have many last minute gifts from Kmart still under $25.00 You can find many of the last minute gifts from Kmartthat you are wanting to give to that special family person. Keep in mind Kmart has merged with Sears on their Craftsman tools. They have the Leap Frog games that we love to get our children to encourage their study skills. Do you think your mother or your sister would like to have some of Martha Stewart's products? Kmart has many of them for you as well. All of these products are $25.00 and under. So check out all that Kmart has to offer. It is all but a click away

THE DIRTY WORK

The religious entities that practice adoption had better start standing up and paying attention. Most of the non religious entities are already reporting their earnings. The Churches will no longer be able to hide behind their tax exempt status if they want to fight gay adoption, gay marriage nor adoptee rights. Yes I said adoptee rights. I know that we are lagging behind with our issues but we can get these folks do to our dirty work in exposing them.

Here is the story and the link.

ACLU of Arkansas Sues Over Adoption Restrictions
By The Associated Press - 12/30/2008 10:41:01 AM

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) - The American Civil Liberties Union of Arkansas says it has filed a lawsuit to strike down a new law banning unmarried couples from becoming foster or adoptive parents.

The group announced Tuesday that it had filed a lawsuit in Pulaski County Circuit Court seeking to overturn Initiated Act 1, which was approved by voters in last month's general election.

The group filed the lawsuit on behalf of 29 adults and children from more than a dozen families, including a grandmother who lives with her same-sex partner of nine years and is the only relative able and willing to adopt her grandchild, who is now in Arkansas' state care.

The group said that plaintiffs include several married, heterosexual couples who say they have relatives or friends who would not be able to adopt their children because of the new law, which takes effect Thursday.

The lawsuit was filed against the state of Arkansas, the attorney general, the Arkansas Department of Human Services and its director, and the Child Welfare Agency Review Board and its chairman.

The Arkansas Family Council, a conservative group that campaigned for the ban, said it was aimed at gay couples but the law will affect heterosexuals and homosexuals equally.

Department of Human Services officials have said they do not expect to have to remove any foster children from their homes when the new law takes effect. The state had already barred cohabiting unmarried couples from becoming foster parents and was in the process of reversing that policy when voters approved the new ban.

The law does not affect any adoptions that were finalized before it takes effect.

The ACLU had represented four plaintiffs in a lawsuit that led the state Supreme Court to overturn the state's ban on gay foster parents in 2006. The Family Council had campaigned for the initiated act in response to that ruling.

HEROS AT HOME

Heros at Home is a program sponsored by Sears for the soldier fighting off in Afghanistan and in Iraq. This is for the soldiers and their families. It is a program that helps give them a Christmas to be remembered and much needed home improvements on the home front. It is not tax deductible but it is however a good thing. It helps the people and their families who defend our country and our constitution.

Even if you do not support the war in these two countries, it is important to support the soldiers in these countries. They are doing the hard work so that we can all live free. The Heros at Home Registry is a listing of the soldiers whose families need help with Christmas and many of the other holidays through the year. I remember serving my country in the first Iraq war. I was a member of the United States Army serving as a medical laboratory specialist. My hometown of San Marcos fully supported its soldiers overseas.

So if you want to help these wonderful men and women, please give to the Heros at Home registry. It equally distributes all the gifts that Americans have donated to the soldiers and their families to help them have a great Christmas. It also helps them fix the homes that they live in. It gives them a better quality of life.

FIRST PARENTS WIN THEIR CHILD BACK

This is absolutely awesome by the way. The first parents won their appeal. It is so incredibly sad that it took this long. I see this happening with Shawn McDonald. He has been fighting for three years straight. Hopefully this will happen to him as well. Since the cases are very similar, both fathers have been active in their children's lives.

I wish some adoptive parents would do the right thing.

Here is the story and the link:

Appeals Court Ends Adoption Battle

Last Edited: Tuesday, 30 Dec 2008, 1:14 AM EST

Created: Monday, 29 Dec 2008, 7:45 PM EST

The Michigan Court of Appeals ruled that Cody will remain with his biological parents. (Photo Credit: FOX 2 News) By BILL GALLAGHER FOX 2 News ECORSE, Mich. (WJBK) -- A long legal fight over a planned adoption ends with the biological parents being reunited with their son. The costly court battle lasted more than five years and drained the parents' resources. Kenneth Barnett and Christine Wolfe received word on Christmas Eve that their son, Cody, would remain with them. The Michigan Court of Appeals ruled in their favor. "I was just jumping and screaming for joy... It's the best Christmas present ever because my baby's home," said Wolfe. "We were so thrilled that not only will this case... keep him home for good, but being that the decision was a precedent, it's going to be... very hard... for anybody to ever do this to a set of biological parents again," said Barnett. In 2003, Wolfe gave birth to Cody after she and Barnett had divorced. She already had another child and considered allowing a Dearborn couple to adopt him. "I wanted the best for him and I thought I was doing the right thing and it wasn't," said Wolfe. The couple got custody and guardianship of Cody, but Barnett never gave up his parental rights and fought any anticipated adoption. Wolfe also withdrew her consent, but the couple went to court, fighting to keep him as his parents' legal bills soared. "We're close to $225,000... This has basically impoverished us," said Barnett. The child bounced between the parents and the guardians who wanted to adopt him. Last year, Wolfe received full custody of Cody, but the other couple tried to get the decision reversed. The Court of Appeal's ruling halted that move. Cody's parents argue these disputes should never last this long. "He spent three years of his life with two homes, two names, two schools, two religions, two families and nobody could stop and say wait a minute, let's put an end to this," said Barnett. FOX 2 News attempted to contact the other couple involved for a comment, but were unable to reach them.

ORSON MOZES ARRESTED

Orson Mozes was arrested in Florida. This man is wanted for sixty two counts of fraud. His former agency is currently under a civil RICO lawsuit. He was profiled on America's Most Wanted recently.

The police in Florida were rumored to have had him in custody but released him. Here is the story out of Florida. Hopefully he will spend many years in jail.

Montecito man arrested in Florida on warrant for adoption scam

KSBY-TV

updated 10:44 a.m. CT, Tues., Dec. 30, 2008

Monday, December 29, 2008
Reported by: Ryan Foran

Florida police arrest a Montecito man who is wanted on 62 felony counts of theft related to an adoption scam.

Authorities said 57-year-old Orson Mozes was arrested in Miami Beach Monday.

Orson Mozes is accused of operating an adoption scam that cost his victims more than a million dollars.

Mozes was captured Monday after an anonymous tip from someone who saw his picture on the 'America's Most Wanted' Web site. He would have been featured on the nationally televised show next month.

Mozes ran a business called adoption international program from his Montecito home. Santa Barbara County investigators issued a warrant for his arrest earlier this year.

The 62 felony counts of fraud represent each victim in this case.

Two of those victims are Dawn De Lorenzo and her husband, who live in New Jersey. Dawn said she and her husband used Mozes' adoption service after unsuccessful fertility treatments.

The couple said they were scammed out of $75,000 and were thrilled to hear the news of Mozes' arrest.

"Well, we were ecstatic. Because for the past week we were on pins and needles because he had been arrested twice using an alias and let go. So we weren't sure if they were going to catch up with him again. But they did, so we're really happy," Dawn De Lorenzo told Action News in a phone interview.

The De Lorenzos said they spent three months in Kazakhstan and actually spent 10 days with a child before they were told the adoption could not go through.

There is more great news for the De Lorenzos after going through this long and costly ordeal. Dawn is expecting to give birth to the couple's first child in May.

De Lorenzo also told Action News that Mozes is facing a federal civil suit that involves at least 17 victims.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28426688/

VITAMINS, HERBAL SUPPLEMENTS AND YOUR HEALTH

I do vitamins and herbal supplements daily. From a multi vitamin to Valerian Root, I take them. They keep colds, aches, pains, and other issues at arm's length. We no longer have health insurance. These supplements actually do help. They do not leave harmful residual drugs in your system. That is what I like the most about them. They help me feel better and perform better than using drugs. So many times drugs have nasty side effects.

Beta Glucan

Beta Glucan is a new herbal supplement that accentuates the antibiotics and other medications that a person might take for the common cold. This actually looks interesting to me. I have cystic acne. I remember taking Accutane and antibiotics for it when I was in the army. I was on a constant regiment of antibiotics. I hated it. The Accutane dried up every mucous membrane in my body. I remember practicing marching and hearing my knee pop loudly. I would not wish that treatment on any human being including my worst enemy.

I now take Golden Seal for it. It actually works for me. It has cleared it up considerably. This Beta Glucan sounds like that it could increase the potency of the Golden Seal. If you get colds regularly, you might want to check out Beta Glucan.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL

The packages are wrapped. The kitties are in an uproar. The horses are feeling spry. The dogs are barking at it all. Daddy has had his final beer. Mom is worn out from wrapping and preparing for the Christmas festivities.

Mom sits down to write a Christmas blog. There is so much to say. As all good little adoptees settle in for a good night's rest, their dreams are different. They dream of original birth certificates. We ask Santa this year to bring them to us. We know it won't be tonight but in the legislative year ahead we pray with all our might.

Give us our truth, our history, our heritage, and our peace. We ask this of this Christmas night.

The year will end soon. The warriors prepare to win a few more states this next year.

Take the breather while you can. There is work ahead.

May all have a wonderful Christmas. May all find the love and joy in reunions. May they bring peace and happiness to all that you hold dear.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to ALL of us LIVING ADOPTION.

CNN'S ORPHAN TRAIN

CNN did a story recently on the Orphan Train. It is not one of adoption's finest moments. Adoption under One Roof's AngelaW did a post about it as well. The Orphan Trains sent thousands of children from the east coast to the Midwest to be adopted. Many of these children were forced to work in the fields and pastures of their "adoptive families."

CNN did a revisit to that piece of adoption history.

Here is the article:

PUEBLO, Colorado (CNN) -- Orphan Train rider Stanley Cornell's oldest memory is of his mother's death in 1925.

Stanley Cornell, right, and his younger brother, Victor, were adopted from an "Orphan Train."

"My first feeling was standing by my mom's bedside when she was dying. She died of tuberculosis," recalls Cornell. "I remember her crying, holding my hand, saying to 'be good to Daddy.' "

"That was the last I saw of her. I was probably four," Cornell says of his mother, Lottie Cornell, who passed away in Elmira, New York.

His father, Floyd Cornell, was still suffering the effects of nerve gas and shell shock after serving as a soldier in combat during WWI. That made it difficult for him to keep steady work or care for his two boys.

"Daddy Floyd," as Stanley Cornell calls his birth father, eventually contacted the Children's Aid Society. The society workers showed up in a big car with candy and whisked away Stanley and his brother, Victor, who was 16 months younger. See the Cornell family album »

Stanley Cornell remembers his father was crying and hanging on to a post. The little boy had a feeling he would not see his father again.

The two youngsters were taken to an orphanage, the Children's Aid Society of New York, founded by social reformer Charles Loring Brace

"It was kind of rough in the orphans' home," Cornell remembers, adding that the older children preyed on the younger kids -- even though officials tried to keep them separated by chicken wire fences. He says he remembers being beaten with whips like those used on horses.

New York City in 1926 was teeming with tens of thousands of homeless and orphaned children. These so-called "street urchins" resorted to begging, stealing or forming gangs to commit violence to survive. Some children worked in factories and slept in doorways or flophouses.

The Orphan Train movement took Stanley Cornell and his brother out of the city during the last part of a mass relocation movement for children called "placing out."Watch Cornell share ups and downs of his family story

Brace's agency took destitute children, in small groups, by train to small towns and farms across the country, with many traveling to the West and Midwest. From 1854 to 1929, more than 200,000 children were placed with families across 47 states. It was the beginning of documented foster care in America.

"It's an exodus, I guess. They called it Orphan Train riders that rode the trains looking for mom and dad like my brother and I."

"We'd pull into a train station, stand outside the coaches dressed in our best clothes. People would inspect us like cattle farmers. And if they didn't choose you, you'd get back on the train and do it all over again at the next stop."

Cornell and his brother were "placed out" twice with their aunts in Pennsylvania and Coffeyville, Kansas. But their placements didn't last and they were returned to the Children's Aid Society.

"Then they made up another train. Sent us out West. A hundred-fifty kids on a train to Wellington, Texas," Cornell recalls. "That's where Dad happened to be in town that day."

Each time an Orphan Train was sent out, adoption ads were placed in local papers before the arrival of the children.

J.L. Deger, a 45-year-old farmer, knew he wanted a boy even though he already had two daughters ages 10 and 13.

"He'd just bought a Model T. Mr. Deger looked those boys over. We were the last boys holding hands in a blizzard, December 10, 1926," Cornell remembers. He says that day he and his brother stood in a hotel lobby.

"He asked us if we wanted to move out to farm with chickens, pigs and a room all to your own. He only wanted to take one of us, decided to take both of us."

Life on the farm was hard work.

"I did have to work and I expected it, because they fed me, clothed me, loved me. We had a good home. I'm very grateful. Always have been, always will be."

Taking care of a family wasn't always easy.

"In 1931, the Dust Bowl days started. The wind never quit. Sixty, 70 miles an hour, all that dust. It was a mess. Sometimes, Dad wouldn't raise a crop in two years."

A good crop came in 1940. With his profit in hand, "first thing Dad did was he took that money and said, 'we're going to repay the banker for trusting us,' " Cornell says.

When World War II began, Cornell joined the U.S. Army Signal Corps. He shipped out to Africa and landed near Casablanca, Morocco, where he laid telephone and teletype lines. Later he served in Egypt and northern Sicily. While in Italy, he witnessed Mount Vesuvius erupting.

It was on a telephone line-laying mission between Naples and Rome that Cornell suffered his first of three wounds.

"Our jeep was hit by a bomb. I thought I was in the middle of the ocean. It was the middle of January and I was in a sea of mud."

With their jeep destroyed and Cornell bleeding from a head wound, his driver asked a French soldier to use his vehicle to transport them. The Frenchman refused to drive Cornell the five miles to the medical unit.

"So, the driver pulled out his pistol, put the gun to the French soldier's head and yelled, 'tout suite!' or 'move it!' " Cornell recalls.

Once he was treated, Cornell remembers the doctor saying, "You've got 30 stitches in your scalp. An eighth of an inch deeper and you'd be dead."

Cornell always refused to accept his commendations for a Purple Heart even though he'd been wounded three times, twice severely enough to be hospitalized for weeks. He felt the medals were handed out too often to troops who suffered the equivalent of a scratch.

His younger brother served during the war in the Air Force at a base in Nebraska, where he ran a film projector at the officers' club.

As WWII was drawing to a close, Stanley Cornell headed up the teletype section at Allied headquarters in Reims, France. "I saw [Gen. Dwight] Eisenhower every day," he recalls.

On May 7, 1945, the Nazis surrendered. "I sent the first teletype message from Eisenhower saying the war was over with Germany," Cornell says.

In 1946, the 25-year-old Stanley Cornell met with his 53-year-old birth father, Daddy Floyd. It was the last time they would see each other.

Cornell eventually got married and he and his wife, Earleen, adopted two boys, Dana and Dennis, when each was just four weeks old.

"I knew what it was like to grow up without parents," Cornell says. "We were married seven years and couldn't have kids, so I asked my wife, 'how about adoption?' She'd heard my story before and said, 'OK.' "

After they adopted their two boys, Earleen gave birth to a girl, Denyse.

Dana Cornell understands what his father and uncle went through.

"I don't think [Uncle] Vic and Stan could have been better parents. I can relate, you know, because Dad adopted Dennis and me. He has taught me an awful lot over the years," Dana Cornell says.

Dana Cornell says his adoptive parents have always said that if the boys wanted to find their birth parents, they would help. But he decided not to because of how he feels about the couple who adopted him. "They are my parents and that's the way it's gonna be."

Stanley and Earleen Cornell have been married 61 years. She is a minister at a church in Pueblo, Colorado, and is the cook at her son's restaurant, Dana's Lil' Kitchen.

Stanley Cornell believes he is one of only 15 surviving Orphan Train children. His brother, Victor Cornell, a retired movie theater chain owner, is also alive and living in Moscow, Idaho.